House Hacks Say "Feed Me Feed Me Feed Me!"
Tim Cavanaugh | March 18, 2005, 1:07pm
When chefs like ethically challenged redistricter Tom Delay, bumbling-but-still-not-lovable Speaker Denny Hastert, and roid-raging Virginian Tom Davis (didn't he used to be Al Franken's partner?) are doing the cooking, you can be sure federal separation of powers won't be on the menu. The three House Republicans are now asserting their constitutional authority to keep Terri Schiavo eating.
"Later this morning," says a statement from Davis, Delay, and Hastert, "we will issue a subpoena, which will require hospice administrators and attending physicians to preserve nutrition and hydration for Terri Schiavo to allow Congress to fully understand the procedures and practices that are currently keeping her alive."
That could take weeks!
I should speak a little Reason heresy here and admit that I am not as convinced as my colleague Ron Bailey that the case for turning off Schiavo's feeding tube is beyond dispute; I also think "turning off her feeding tube" is a euphemism (and not a very inventive one) for "starving her to death." (For my money, the scandal isn't that the system would allow Schiavo to die, but that it requires her to starve rather than just getting a thump on the head or a dose of cyanide.)
Schiavo's shameless parents have clouded the issue beyond recognition and tried to make her husband, who has gone broke keeping her alive this long, look like a monster. But all legitimate grounds of appeal have run out. Now we're stuck with only the illegitimate grounds.
But I guess it will be sort of funny, in a Farrelly brothers kind of way, to watch Hastert interrogating the vegetative Schiavo on March 28.
thoreau | March 19, 2005, 4:46pm | #
I posted that a year and a half ago. I edited the part about Halloween and replaced it with St. Patrick's Day. I forgot to replace Jeb Bush (who was intervening back then) with Dennis Hastert.
To remedy my mistake, here it is again, in edited form:
Coroner: Bring out your dead!
Husband: Here's one.
Dennis Hastert: She's not dead!
Coroner: What?
Husband: Nothing, here's your fee...
Hastert: She's not dead!
Coroner: I can't take her like that, it's against regulation.
Husband: Can't you wait around, she won't be long?
Coroner: Naw, St. Patrick's Day just ended and I've got lots of drunk driving casualties to attend to.
Hastert: She feels fine!
Husband: No, she doesn't.
Hastert: I think she'll go for a walk now. She feels happy! She feels happy!
Husband: Look, isn't there something you can do?
(Coroner knocks out Hastert and accepts corpse.)
Husband: Thanks!
Coroner: Not at all! See you Thursday!
Gary Gunnels | March 20, 2005, 2:27am | #
Some info on the good doctors discussed in Rake's quotes:
At National Review Online, Father Rob Johansen writes about the legal proceedings surrounding Terri Schiavo. The point I'm interested in is Johansen's contention that "[e]xpert witnesses in court are supposed to be unbiased: disinterested in the outcome of the case. Part of the procedure in qualifying expert witnesses is establishing that they are objective and unbiased." Johansen argues that an expert witness, Dr. Cranford, who testified Schiavo was in a persistent vegetative state was a biased witness because he is allegedly an advocate "in the 'right to die' and euthanasia movements." Says Johansen, "one needs to know a little about Cranford's background and perspective" in order to evaluate Cranford's opinions.
To support his argument, Johansen quotes some neurologists to whom he provided a selective account of the medical evidence and legal proceedings.
Among them, there's "Dr. William Bell, a professor of neurology at Wake Forest University Medical School." For some strange reason, Johansen doesn't think we need to know a little -- or anything -- about Bell's background or perspective. Among other things, Bell is a member of the Christian Medical and Dental Society. Although Johansen obviously thinks otherwise, you might be interested to know that the Christian Medical and Dental Society believes that "[t]he human body belongs to God," holds some bigoted psuedo-scientific views about homosexuality, and compares embryonic stem cell research to Nazi war crimes.
No bias or interest there. And I'm sure Johansen picked Bell entirely at random, as opposed to selecting him for the outcome he desires.
Then there's "Dr. Thomas Zabiega, who trained at the University of Chicago." I think we can presume that's Thomas Zabiega, M.D., Vice President for Legislative Affairs for the Catholic Physicians' Guild of Chicago. Let's keep that Father Rob's little secret, shall we?
In the article, Father Rob makes it sound as if Dr. Bell is hearing about the Schiavo case for the first time. ("I have spent the past ten days recruiting and interviewing neurologists willing to come forward and offer affidavits or declarations concerning new testing and examinations for Terri....") Yet Bell, apparently accepting Father Rob's version as gospel, has made up his mind: "It seems as though they're fearful of any additional information," "medical realities are no longer governing this case," "once a decision is made they don't want additional information." No prejudgment there either.
Father Rob is a man who likes to cherry-pick his experts and avoid disclosure of important but inconvenient facts. If we judge him by his own standard, he can't be trusted.
http://rogerailes.blogspot.com/