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No Tiger, No Volcano, No Gamblers

I never thought I'd live in a place where people go to Oklahoma for fun, but evidently a lot of people in Dallas pop over the border to gamble in Indian casinos. Although that's a depressing thought, it's not as depressing as the thought of gambling in this place:

Station Casinos opened a nondescript 40-by-10-foot trailer on a vacant 26-acre plot about six miles east of the [Las Vegas] Strip with just 16 slot machines....

The biggest payout on the bank of video poker and blackjack machines was $2.50....

The trailer...came complete with a portable toilet outside and, to comply with the Americans With Disabilities Act, a wheelchair-accessible entrance. A casino floor manager sat at one end of the narrow room ready to pay out winnings should there be any.

If that doesn't sound like much fun to you, that's OK, because the trailer casino was not intended to attract customers. Open just for one day, it was intended solely to satisfy a zoning requirement. To retain the option of someday building an actual casino on the land, formerly the site of the Showboat and Castaways, Station Casinos has to offer betting opportunities to the general public for at least one shift every two years. A representative of the company that provided the slot machines for the day explains:

There are probably four or five places that have to do this in order to preserve their grandfathered zoning rights to have nonrestricted gaming there. That makes the property millions and millions of dollars more valuable.

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Comments to "No Tiger, No Volcano, No Gamblers":

sage | January 10, 2008, 12:35pm | #

I never thought I'd live in a place where people go to Oklahoma for fun,

Perhaps you haven't heard of the Oklahoma Aquarium. They have the world's largest bull shark in captivity.

Warty | January 10, 2008, 12:35pm | #

I hope the casino offers Guess a Number, War, Rock Paper Scissors, and Choose a Hand.

miche | January 10, 2008, 12:46pm | #

I've popped over to Oklahoma to gamble once when I was pissed off at the doc. The WinStar casino charges 50 cents for every $100 per hand bet (blackjack) and doesn't even serve booze. As a regular visitor to the Wynn Las Vegas, I found the OK experience depressing. I didn't think there could be worse but apparently there is such a thing.

Tim | January 10, 2008, 12:52pm | #

I knew a guy that owned a bar and its associated liquor license. His license got grandfathered in when they rezoned, allowing for no new liquor licenses. He closed the bar down during a period of redevelopment with the epectation that he could sell it for much more after the area was all built up with new condos. In order to maintain the license he had to be open one day a year. So once a year for three or four years he'd buy a couple cases of beer and a bottle of whisky, turn on the radio and open his doors.

MCW | January 10, 2008, 12:53pm | #

First you steal their land.

Then you exploit them with gambling. Another example of Disaster Capitalism.

ed | January 10, 2008, 12:53pm | #

They have the world's largest bull shark in captivity.

Let's hope it stays in captivity.
Please...no taunting the bull shark.

Dangerman | January 10, 2008, 12:59pm | #

Remember, Bold is the tag of the worker.

h/t to bzial

J sub D | January 10, 2008, 1:00pm | #

First you steal their land.
Then you exploit them with gambling.


Who's getting "exploited" by indian casinos, you insufferable dolt?

The Wine Commonsewer | January 10, 2008, 1:04pm | #

In my naivety I voted to legalize Indian Casinos in Californicate based on the premise that any move toward outright legalization was a good one. Big Fat WRONG!

I avoid Indian Casinos like Streisand movies.

Nutter | January 10, 2008, 1:12pm | #

Remember, Bold is the tag of the worker.
As a disaster-capitalist my tags are STRONG

Rick Barton | January 10, 2008, 1:14pm | #

What about the volcano? What's that about? Volcanos are kinda interesting and cool.

Jim Bob | January 10, 2008, 1:14pm | #

I've never gambled at a casino, but I have witnessed people to obese to be ambulatory use their motorized wheelchairs (complete with food tray!) to go to and from the all-you-can-eat buffet at one. The Emerald Queen casino, I believe it was.

The Democratic Republican | January 10, 2008, 1:16pm | #

The casino in Thackerville (can't remember the name), 1 mile north of the OK/TX border, has a GREAT buffet. Unfortunately, when I went they still weren't licensed to sell alcohol. THAT'S the depressing part.

Rick Barton | January 10, 2008, 1:18pm | #

Oh, so I guess that is some casino in vegas there's a volcano.

BakedPenguin | January 10, 2008, 1:24pm | #

I suspect that organized gambling interests had a hand in the Internet Gambling bill. As such, I am never gambling in the US again until online gambling is legal (or I find out that I'm mistaken in my belief.)

I'm going to send the money I would have gambled away to Barney Frank's re-election campaign.

de stijl | January 10, 2008, 1:33pm | #

Picture MCW in a cage with two levers.

One drops him into the tiger cage.

The other into the volcano.

Picture people betting on which happens and how long he lasts.
That was basically the plot summary of The Simpsons episoded when they went to Japan and ended up on The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show.

Island Virgin | January 10, 2008, 1:38pm | #

What about the volcano? What's that about? Volcanos are kinda interesting and cool.

No they're not.

Joe | January 10, 2008, 1:42pm | #

She's right, you know...

Rotter | January 10, 2008, 1:48pm | #

people to obese to be ambulatory use their motorized wheelchairs


Doesn't that count as ambulatory?

"If I can fit in my wheelchair, I'm not too fat"

Episiarch | January 10, 2008, 1:56pm | #

Mohegan Sun has its own women's basketball team. Excitement abounds at the Sun.

Island Virgin | January 10, 2008, 1:58pm | #

She's right, you know...

What's this SHE stuff? Sexist!

bigbigslacker | January 10, 2008, 2:04pm | #

When I visited the Choctaw casino in Oklahoma, the coolest thing was seeing the employees with guns on their hips. Nothing makes me heppier than seeing private citizens packin the same heat as the boys in blue. Well, maybe a few things make me happier, but it was still pretty cool to see. Maybe this is because I live in Illinois, where the Bill of Rights only has 9 amendments.

T | January 10, 2008, 2:06pm | #

"If I can fit in my wheelchair, I'm not too fat"

When the war on obesity gets fully underway, those will be the first up against the wall.

BakedPenguin | January 10, 2008, 2:10pm | #

T, they'll be shot where they sit. The Fat Cops will be afraid of throwing their backs out putting them against the wall.

ed | January 10, 2008, 2:18pm | #

seeing the employees with guns on their hips

And because they are, essentially, protecting a sovereign nation with their own rules and stuff, they can shoot you for fun. What happens there, stays there. Or else. Have another drink, Paleface.

J sub D | January 10, 2008, 2:27pm | #

I live in Illinois, where the Bill of Rights only has 9 amendments.

That many? Wow.

Rick Barton | January 10, 2008, 2:34pm | #

Island Virgin, joe,

Really? You two don't dig volcanoes? Well, I guess it is subjective.

Whenever I travel from Denver, I often enjoy visiting the scientific attractions. When I go to LA, I often visit the Rancho La Brea Tar Pits:

http://www.tarpits.org/education/guide/index.html

And I always visit Griffith Observatory:

http://www.griffithobs.org/

(BTW, if you ask a gal if she wants to go with you to visit the La Brea Tar Pits and she says "yes", that means she might like you)

Shawn Smith | January 10, 2008, 2:34pm | #

Fucking New York Times and the fucking Easterners that write for them. The site of the old Showboat casino is about three and a half miles east of Las Vegas Blvd. It's about six miles from the Bellagio. The Bellagio is not The Strip. What--Using Google Maps or Microsoft Maps is too fucking hard for you, you fucking morons?

bob | January 10, 2008, 8:29pm | #

That was basically the plot summary of The Simpsons episoded when they went to Japan and ended up on The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show.

A simple "Simpsons did it!" would have sufficed.

LarryA | January 11, 2008, 10:14am | #

Then you exploit them with gambling. Another example of Disaster Capitalism.

Ah, I remember back to 1978, when the people of Missouri were lured into voting to allow organized gambling there. Before then their beneficent government protected them from exploitation by keeping Missouri the only state where you couldn't enter the Readers' Digest Sweepstakes.