A Corrupt DC Tax Official's Plea for Help?

As sometime and part-time resident of the District of Columbia, I have watched with horror, fascination, and amusement the corrupt shenanigans of Washington's city government for nearly thirty years. After the political demise of Marion "Mayor for Life" Barry, the city government actually began to clean up its act. Apparently, the clean up has not yet reached into all the dark nooks and crannies of DC's local government.

Since last week, residents have been treated to an unfolding scam in which property tax officials issued to themselves and their cronies bogus property tax refund checks amounting to millions of dollars. For me, the Washington Post reported the piece de resistance of this scandal today. To wit:

A Washington Post analysis of city records has found a total of $31.7 million in questionable property tax refunds dating back seven years -- including $346,700 to one fictitious company named "Bilkemor LLC."

Bilkemor LLC? Is it possible that a corrupt tax official was crying out for help--"please stop me before I graft again?"

Comments

joe | November 14, 2007, 9:28am | #

The most impressive thing about Marion Barry is that things got worse under Sharon Pratt Kelley.

I didn't think that was possible.

hale | November 14, 2007, 9:28am | #

I doubt it. More likely, it's evidence of the extent of that official's cynicism and expectation of getting away with it completely.

Travis | November 14, 2007, 9:29am | #

I just spit coffee all over my monitor.

Episiarch | November 14, 2007, 9:29am | #

Steelzalot, Inc?

James Ard | November 14, 2007, 9:36am | #

At least the crook has a sense of humor.

SugarFree | November 14, 2007, 9:37am | #

Episiarch,

Government spending is never stealing. Weren't you paying attention yesterday? Sheesh.

Episiarch | November 14, 2007, 9:41am | #

SugarFree, you caught me. I wasn't paying attention.

SugarFree | November 14, 2007, 9:52am | #

Episiarch, I except you to stay after school and write: "Elected officials can steal because we voted them into office" 500 times on the chalkboard. And I'm confiscating all the erasers so you can't cheat by sticking three pieces of chalk in one and write three lines at once.

robc | November 14, 2007, 10:02am | #

joe,

The most impressive thing about Marion Barry is that things got worse under Sharon Pratt Kelley.

Back in the late 80s/early 90s (its been too long, I forget exactly when) a bunch of KY politicians got nailed in a big bribery scandal. My parents' state rep survived it perfectly clean. As my Mom said about him, "He was too dumb to figure out how to get in on it."

He is still in office, my Mom still tries to get him beat (even though they are both Dems), he still is too dumb to be corrupt.

Jamie Kelly | November 14, 2007, 10:06am | #

LineMyPhuckingPockets Corp.?

John-David | November 14, 2007, 10:12am | #

I suspect that the defendants will be represented by the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.

I. P. Freely | November 14, 2007, 10:18am | #

It's actually quite common, when real estate investors form an LLC, to name it after the majority partner's firm--has it occurred to any of you that there just might actually be a legitimate Mr. Bilkemor? Oh, but you guys are so smart with your jokes!

Being the butt of everyone's jokes isn't just painful--it can ruin a man's career. Take it from me--I know. Who's ever gonna take me seriously again as a painter?

Bronwyn | November 14, 2007, 10:26am | #

John-David beat me to it.

Warren | November 14, 2007, 10:27am | #

"Elected officials can steal because we voted them into office"

Damnit SurgarFree. You just got through explaining that it isn't stealing and then you call it stealing. Now go to the board and write "It's not a crime if the government does it" 500 times.

J sub D | November 14, 2007, 10:31am | #

As I noted the other day, whenever I get depressed about city government's incompetence and corruption here in Motown, I look to our nations's capitol and think "Hey, it could be a whole lot worse".

Thanks DC.

Almost Dan T. | November 14, 2007, 10:34am | #

But was there a quid pro quo?

SugarFree | November 14, 2007, 10:40am | #

Damnit SugarFree. You just got through explaining that it isn't stealing and then you call it stealing.

My ways are mysterious indeed.

[throws down smoke bomb and fades away with an evil, wheezing cough]

SPD | November 14, 2007, 10:47am | #

Bilkemor LLC -- a subsidiary of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

RNC | November 14, 2007, 10:50am | #

Now that's how to do chutzpah, y'all.

Rhywun | November 14, 2007, 11:02am | #

he still is too dumb to be corrupt

In lawmakers that's a feature, not a bug.

Stan Keypantz | November 14, 2007, 11:07am | #

You think you got it rough I.P.?

The Extispicator | November 14, 2007, 11:30am | #

I remember reading a case back in law school about guys who named their sham company OPM Enterprises. In court, they admitted that OPM stood for Other People's Money.

The Chad | November 14, 2007, 11:39am | #

I am admitting my naivety re: british history, why is Bilkemor funny?

ConHugeCo | November 14, 2007, 11:42am | #

Bilkemor LLC is a real corp. They invented the iFleece.

Bronwyn | November 14, 2007, 11:51am | #

The Chad

bilk: To defraud, cheat

It has naught to do with British history.

Peter Dragon | November 14, 2007, 11:54am | #

I wrote a book called Trails in the Sand. Guess I should have titled it something else....

ChrisO | November 14, 2007, 12:39pm | #

But was there a quid pro quo?

In DC? Never! How dare you suggest such a thing!

In all seriousness, the quid pro quo was probably what those city officials did in order to receive such cushy patronage jobs (which pretty much describes the entire DC government). Essentially, the DC government is a giant buffet table for campaign supporters and other political enablers.

Happy Jack | November 14, 2007, 12:42pm | #

Who's ever gonna take me seriously again as a painter?

You could always go into calligraphy.

zig zag man | November 14, 2007, 4:28pm | #

I'm outraged, outraged I say, that I didn't think of a similar scam. I want some of that pork pie. Mmmmmm pie.

joshua corning | November 15, 2007, 12:03am | #

The most impressive thing about Marion Barry is that things got worse under Sharon Pratt Kelley.

It is our federal government's capital and has a predominately Democrat voting base....

I am not fucking surprised.