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An Exegesis of Marx's Facial Boils

If you have yet dive into the latest issue of the British Journal of Dermatology—and you are seriously remiss if you haven't—Reuters provides a Monarch Note version of the journal's latest foray into controversy. According to an article by Dr. Sam Shuster, professor of dermatology at the University of East Anglia, Karl Marx was a miserable old sod who hated bourgeois convention and advocated class war not because of his experience in a German factory, but because of a face full of painful boils. Seriously:
[Shuster] believes the revolutionary thinker had hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) in which the apocrine sweat glands -- found mainly in the armpits and groin -- become blocked and inflamed. "In addition to reducing his ability to work, which contributed to his depressing poverty, hidradenitis greatly reduced his self-esteem," said Shuster, who published his findings in the British Journal of Dermatology.

"This explains his self-loathing and alienation, a response reflected by the alienation Marx developed in his writing." While HS is linked to boil-like lumps, the painful condition also causes more widespread infection, swelling, skin thickening and scarring. It could also explain a number of Marx's other complaints, not previously linked, such as joint pain and a painful eye condition which often stopped him working.

Shuster based his diagnosis on an analysis of Marx's extensive correspondence, in which he wrote to friends about his health and described his skin lesions as "curs" and "swine." "The bourgeoisie will remember my carbuncles until their dying day," Marx told Friedrich Engels in a letter from 1867.
Full story.

(Thanks to reader Ryan S.)
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Comments to "An Exegesis of Marx's Facial Boils":

shecky | October 30, 2007, 3:32pm | #

Zits cause communism?!?

John | October 30, 2007, 3:36pm | #

Read Paul Johnson's book "The Intellectuals" and get the sororiety slam book version of what a miserable rotten bastard Marx was.

ConHugeCo | October 30, 2007, 3:39pm | #

My British Journal of Dermatology must be late this month

matthew hogan | October 30, 2007, 3:39pm | #

Waht's next, Hitler had hemmorhoids? Mao and psoriasis?

Ruthless | October 30, 2007, 3:48pm | #

"The bourgeoisie will remember my carbuncles until their dying day,"

Believe it or not, I had forgotten about them, until Moynihan brought them up.
I just never liked Karl, because he was snippy to Michael Bakunin, my hero.

DangerMan | October 30, 2007, 3:53pm | #

Hey, I am living proof that psoriasis makes you a better, smarter person. With itchy patches. So back off.

*scratches*

GILMORE | October 30, 2007, 3:55pm | #

This is all too common these days.

What's next, Hitler had hemmorhoids?

The Austrian Journal of Proctology has a great article on that.

If i was a sexual therapist, i'd probably argue Communism was a product of insufficient intimacy. Everyone wants to use their particular lens to explain everything. This is why i get pissed when Bailey posts these articles about "Genetic Analysis of Political Views"... it reminds me of that famous mis-quote... 'Writing about music is like dancing about architecture"?

Whatever. I feel badly for people who's work involves writing about skin disorders in Karl Marx's groin.

Episiarch | October 30, 2007, 3:56pm | #

At first, I thought that the title was An Exegesis of Marx's Facial Balls, and I immediately thought of Butters when he went on trash tv as "Boy With Balls on Chin". That would make anybody bitter.

The bourgeoisie will remember my carbuncles until their dying day

He really wrote this to a friend? Really?

Jamie Kelly | October 30, 2007, 3:57pm | #

Yes, but what explains Ann Coulter? Gout on her left tit?

Buddhist Dr. Sam Shuster | October 30, 2007, 3:59pm | #

I feel badly for people who's work involves writing about skin disorders in Karl Marx's groin.

I was Friedrich Engels in my past life...

Chris S. | October 30, 2007, 4:03pm | #

That's it, mandatory dermatology appointments for some, and miniature American flags for others.

Minion of URKOBOLD | October 30, 2007, 4:05pm | #

hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) in which the apocrine sweat glands -- found mainly in the [...] groin become blocked and inflamed
while this is true, blockages in the apocrine glands are also secondary to a whithered taint. The URKOBOLD, who exists out of time and place, obviously whithered Karl "Groucho" Marx's taint!

This also explains his wacky views. This may help explain other wackiness, such as the poster known as "EDDDIEEEEE", and his threats to leave.

Syloson of Samos | October 30, 2007, 4:26pm | #

Moynihan,

You might find this of interest.

Mike Laursen | October 30, 2007, 4:27pm | #

Adam Smith, on the other hand, had a smooth, glowing complexion.

sage | October 30, 2007, 4:30pm | #

Caption Contest!

"CAN YOU SMEEEELLLLLL WHAT THE MARK IS COOKIN!"

Buddhist Dr. Sam Beckett | October 30, 2007, 4:31pm | #

Buddhist Dr. Sam Shuster | October 30, 2007, 3:59pm | #
I feel badly for people who's work involves writing about skin disorders in Karl Marx's groin.

I was Friedrich Engels in my past life...
You and me both, pal!

mnuez | October 30, 2007, 4:35pm | #

I see that my intended comments are unnecessary, those who came before me said all that there is to say, especially this guy:
If i was a sexual therapist, I'd probably argue Communism was a product of insufficient intimacy. Everyone wants to use their particular lens to explain everything. This is why i get pissed when Bailey posts these articles about "Genetic Analysis of Political Views"... it reminds me of that famous mis-quote... 'Writing about music is like dancing about architecture"?
If your bourgeoisie interests would be best served with the destruction of yearnings for Marxism you may be best served with mocking Marx himself, but you'd hardly be engaging in honest play.

mnuez
www.mnuez.blogspot.com

sage | October 30, 2007, 4:35pm | #

Dammit, that should have been "MARX."

I guess I lose.

megamerkin | October 30, 2007, 4:38pm | #

Yes, but what explains Ann Coulter?

She's a dude, with no penis?

mk | October 30, 2007, 4:39pm | #

Marx's Carbuncles would be a great name for a band.

Ruthless | October 30, 2007, 4:44pm | #

I don't know, but wouldn't gout be IN rather than ON your bosom?

Episiarch | October 30, 2007, 4:47pm | #

If your bourgeoisie interests would be best served with the destruction of yearnings for Marxism you may be best served with mocking Marx himself, but you'd hardly be engaging in honest play.

Did you just call GILMORE a fag?

lunchstealer | October 30, 2007, 4:55pm | #

mk - That or "Remember My Carbuncles!"

mnuez | October 30, 2007, 5:04pm | #

Epi -

I'm too tired right now to think through your point. I will however put it on my to-do list.

On the off-chance that I wasn't clear though, I AGREE with Gilmore, I'm just bringing some Communist Boiling to the party.

nueez

Knee Jerk Joe | October 30, 2007, 5:07pm | #

Karl Marx was a miserable old sod who hated bourgeois convention and advocated class war not because of his experience in a German factory, but because of a face full of painful boils.

This is uncalled for. Fuck off, Moynihan

Episiarch | October 30, 2007, 5:35pm | #

I was just kidding, nuez. Your comment was hard to read.

Edward | October 30, 2007, 6:14pm | #

To all the Urkobolds-

I'm only going to say this one more time: remove my quotes and any other references to me from your website now, or face the consequences. I WILL have Blogger shut you down.

Unfunny douchebags.

Regis Carnifex | October 30, 2007, 7:02pm | #

What's next, Hitler had hemmorhoids?

Well, you're close.

Minion of URKOBOLD | October 30, 2007, 7:25pm | #

YAWN, DOOD. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS GIVEN TO YOU ON THE OTHER THREAD.

mw | October 30, 2007, 11:53pm | #

"Karl Marx was a miserable old sod who hated bourgeois convention and advocated class war not because of his experience in a German factory, but because of a face full of painful boils. Seriously..."
Perfectly plausible. I mean look at what this condition did to Baron Harkonnen in David Lynch's Dune. Of course, having Sting as his son may have been a contributing factor.

smartass sob | October 31, 2007, 12:08am | #

This also explains his wacky views. This may help explain other wackiness, such as the poster known as "EDDDIEEEEE", and his threats to leave.

Do you mean to say that Edooard has boils on his balls? Or that he likes to boil his balls?
:-)

Sparky | October 31, 2007, 2:16am | #

Can we please just see a video of the inevitable Edward/URKOBOLD smackdown on youtube and get it over with? Edward's spoiled-thirteen-year-old threats are getting so tiring, I'm dying for some taint-withering closure.


"Unfunny douchebags"

I'm not sure if that's a really cool band name or Edward's new nickname. But either way, it sings, baby!

Warty | October 31, 2007, 9:18am | #

No Nick Cave fans?

Karl Marx squeezed out his carbuncles / While writing Das Kapital

VM | October 31, 2007, 9:40am | #

D'oh! Warty - we have that double LP but I haven't listened to it enough. Fantastic pick up!

Actually, I lent it to EDDDIEEEEEEEE and he gave it to his favorite presidential candidate Lamar! (it's so cute, he actually says Lamar's name with the exclamation point). Lamar! gave it to ProGlib who left it at his laundry service. The service has yet to return it.

But back to EDDDDIEEEEEE(!) we can map his activities in sector HR: on days he has to climb the rope at school, he's more mellow. I think we should interpret that as broadly as we possibly can.

Nellie Oleson | October 31, 2007, 10:45am | #

HAY! I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S ALLOWED TO THROW MEGA HISSY FITS. BUZZ OFF "eddie".

AND MY DOUCHEBAGS HAVE NOVELTY TEETH ATTACHED, SO THEY ARE VERY, VERY FUNNY. ONE BRAND PLAYS A NOVELTY CHRISTMAS SONG, EVEN. YOU CLEARLY DON'T KNOW FROM FUNNY.

AND I HATE LAURA INGALLS!!!!!!!!!

Warty | October 31, 2007, 11:02am | #

Click hier, Nick Cave geeks

VM | October 31, 2007, 11:04am | #

AWESOME!!!

Bingo | October 31, 2007, 12:30pm | #

Carbuncles .... heheheheh

Ruth | October 31, 2007, 1:22pm | #

For more information regarding HS please see the following links:

http://www.hs-foundation.org
http://www.hs-usa.org

Fred | October 31, 2007, 2:10pm | #

Not to mention,
"Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table."

Mike Force | October 31, 2007, 2:38pm | #

Hitler actually did suffer from something called meteorism—uncontrolled flatulence.

Kent G. Budge | October 31, 2007, 4:12pm | #

"Zits cause communism?!?"

Finally, a credible explanation for the popularity of Che tee-shirts with teenagers!

Isaac Bartram | October 31, 2007, 4:13pm | #

With all this talk of Marx and Hitler and balls, I'm surprised noone has mentioned this:
Hitler has only got one ball,
Göring has two but very small,
Himmler is somewhat sim'lar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.
That, at least is the version I learned. There are apparently several variations.

VM | October 31, 2007, 4:52pm | #

Nice reference, Isaac!!

the version my dad and his buddies sang (they were early teenagers in WW2) was "...and Hitler has none at all", but otherwise was pretty close to that :)

lunchstealer | October 31, 2007, 6:05pm | #

I'm more of a Nick Rivers fan than a Nick Cave fan.

Isaac Bartram | October 31, 2007, 6:08pm | #

Yes, also, it is sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey's March or as most probably know it, the theme to The Bridge on the River Kwai

VM | October 31, 2007, 6:20pm | #

Lunch -

Skeet Surfing is a classic!

that's right, Issac! :)