First They Came for Your Cookies, Then They Came for Your Sodas, and Now They Come for Your Sweet Corn

University of Iowa has banned a corn-on-the-cob eating contest because administrators feared that it sends the wrong message. As the Des Moines Register reports:

U of I Vice President for Student Services Philip Jones canceled a corn-on-the-cob eating contest scheduled for today as part of the "Beat State Week" celebration leading up to the Iowa-Iowa State football game because the corn contest "encourages gluttony," he said.

"I don't know that anyone can say that's a healthy concept," Jones said of the event planned by the U of I Alumni Association.

But some people might think it's fun. Fun? What's that? Don't you know that college administrators exist to stamp out fun?

Whole article here.

Comments

Episiarch | September 13, 2007, 12:38pm | #

"encourages gluttony"

And the intersection of leftist nanny-state authoratarianism and right-wing religious authoratarianism continues.

thoreau | September 13, 2007, 12:40pm | #

Don't you know that college administrators exist to stamp out fun?

Wrong. They exist to appease squeaky wheels. There's a difference.

mediageek | September 13, 2007, 12:41pm | #

No doubt the contest organizers have been placed on Double Secret Probation.

de stijl | September 13, 2007, 12:42pm | #

Some cheeky pranks and sky-larkings will clearly put this blue-blood Dean and his lick-spittle cohorts in his place, and maybe even knock them down a peg or two.

Panties will be raided, and drunken Dean wives will be seduced. Mark my words.

But lessons will be learned too.

sixstring | September 13, 2007, 12:44pm | #

Cornholio!!!

daniel k | September 13, 2007, 12:46pm | #

They can have my sweet corn when they pry it out of my cold, dead, buttery fingers.

creech | September 13, 2007, 12:48pm | #

And the freaking football game has the potential to cause catastrophic injuries to the players, in addition to problems caused by drunken fans, gambling addictions, neglect of kids and spouses by sports nuts who need a life, a zillion tons of carbon dioxide spewed into the air by fans driving to and from games.
Let's just have the puritanazis ban everything except Scrabble and other board games played quietly at home.

J sub D | September 13, 2007, 12:50pm | #

U of I Vice President for Student Services Philip Jones canceled a corn-on-the-cob eating contest scheduled for today as part of the "Beat State Week" celebration leading up to the Iowa-Iowa State football game because the corn contest "encourages gluttony," he said.

"I don't know that anyone can say that's a healthy concept," Jones said of the event planned by the U of I Alumni Association

Somebody needs jap-slapped here. I dunno what else to say.

VM | September 13, 2007, 12:50pm | #

they're gonna fucking eat the corn on the cob. Not have a mass "deep throat" contest to see which one can cause the most "pops"... mein gott.

Tailgater | September 13, 2007, 12:51pm | #

We can still drink ourselves stupid before the game though, right?

Russ 2000 | September 13, 2007, 12:51pm | #

Change it to a corn-out-of-the-dumpster contest and it's beneficial for everybody.

gorgonzola's foil | September 13, 2007, 12:53pm | #

Speaking of sweet corn and gluttony, if you are fortunate enough to live near an H-Mart or other Korean grocery store, look in the freezer case for a frozen confection with a corn cob and no English text on the package. You won't be disappointed.

sage | September 13, 2007, 12:53pm | #

This doesn't bode well for the butterstick-eating contest.

Russ 2000 | September 13, 2007, 12:54pm | #

When life give you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you corn, make corn liquor.

So how about an ethanol drinking contest?

Man, there just isn't the creative thinking in college like there used to be since they let in anyone with a high school diploma.

Seamus | September 13, 2007, 12:56pm | #

How are we ever going to reduce our dependence on foreign oil if we continue using corn for eating contests instead of for ethanol (and I'm not talking about corn whiskey, either)?

David | September 13, 2007, 12:57pm | #

I wonder if Jones thinks that people are going to participate in the corn eating contest, then decide to change their eating habits and start trying cram as much corn down throats as possible in a ten minute time limit every meal because the contest made think that's how they were supposed to eat.

TrickyVic | September 13, 2007, 1:00pm | #

"""I don't know that anyone can say that's a healthy concept," Jones said of the event planned by the U of I Alumni Association.""

Neither is football.

""Cornholio!!!"""

Maybe they fear running out of TP from my bunghole.

Reinmoose | September 13, 2007, 1:00pm | #

No David. The fear is that after corn they may try other foods. Corn is a gateway food to broccoli eating contests, or worse, zucchini!

de stijl | September 13, 2007, 1:01pm | #

This doesn't bode well for the butterstick-eating contest.

Butterstick the panda? Dude, that's sick!

TrickyVic | September 13, 2007, 1:02pm | #

"""Panties will be raided, and drunken Dean wives will be seduced. Mark my words."""

Where do I sign up?

jimmydageek | September 13, 2007, 1:02pm | #

Let's just have the puritanazis ban everything except Scrabble and other board games played quietly at home.

Ah, but doing so (sitting at home, playing board games) would probably constitute "sloth" in the eyes of these folk...

You can't win.

SugarFree | September 13, 2007, 1:03pm | #

"This bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger!"

Corn on the cob? Really? I don't know what kind of superhuman colons those kids have... I mean, maybe someone like the Atomic Fruitbat could handle it, but not me.

Stevo Darkly | September 13, 2007, 1:03pm | #

The stripper-raping contest is still on, though, right?

Robert | September 13, 2007, 1:05pm | #

"And the freaking football game has the potential to cause catastrophic injuries to the players, in addition to problems caused by drunken fans, gambling addictions," etc.

That's how it goes: you ban anything that arouses enough opposition, and doesn't have (at least at the moment) a constituency interested enough, broad enough, rich enough, or conscious/organized enough. Football has been threatened with bans in the USA, but it's now powerful enough here that nobody would seriously entertain the thought of banning it now.

Corn eating is another matter. It may soon be considered unpatriotic to eat corn, because we need it for biofuel.

TrickyVic | September 13, 2007, 1:06pm | #

"""The stripper-raping contest is still on, though, right?"""

That's just an urban legend

Koko, the signing gorilla | September 13, 2007, 1:06pm | #

de stijl | September 13, 2007, 1:01pm | #
This doesn't bode well for the butterstick-eating contest.

Butterstick the panda? Dude, that's sick!

Koko kiss sixty-nine butterstick nipple kiss

VM | September 13, 2007, 1:10pm | #

SAVE THE CORN FOR THE TEQUILA!
hier, hier und hier

SugarFree | September 13, 2007, 1:11pm | #

Awesome for corn-on-the-cob (especially grilled varieties.)

Chipotle Butter

Two sticks salted butter
1 (small) can of chipoltes in adobo sauce
1 tablespoon of fresh lime juice
2 teaspoons finely ground black pepper

Soften the butter to room temperature. Finely dice the peppers and reserve the sauce. Add all ingredients to a deep bowl and whip with a handmixer (or stand mixer) until everything is incorporated and the butter takes in some air (5 minutes or so.) Spoon chipotle butter onto parchment or wax paper and roll in a tube. Store in freezer, removing for about ten minutes prior to use.

ed | September 13, 2007, 1:12pm | #

So I guess the "Mock the Paralyzed Linebacker" contest is off as well.

Creed | September 13, 2007, 1:23pm | #

This guy's in his late 50s. Wasn't he dropping acid and screwing anonymous hairy legged girls during his college days? Why's he got to be such a dick?

Iowan | September 13, 2007, 1:25pm | #

More nonsense from the People's Republic of Johnson County.

Sigh!

Pro Libertate | September 13, 2007, 1:25pm | #

VM,

Remember the Alamo™ (rent a car México)!

J sub D | September 13, 2007, 1:30pm | #

So how about an ethanol drinking contest?

Been there, done that. But then, haven't we all.

VM | September 13, 2007, 1:31pm | #

ProGLib:

sigh. I guess you're right...

libertarianism, what a concept | September 13, 2007, 1:32pm | #

Private institution. Makes its own rules. Go to Gluttony U. if you don't like it. What's the problem?

RTFA this time conecptual libertarian, whoops | September 13, 2007, 1:34pm | #

Shit. SHOULD be a private institution, etc.

Iowan | September 13, 2007, 1:36pm | #

Private institution.

Public University, heavily supported by state and federal taxes, of which I get to pay both.

Overall, a fine university.

Politically, way left of the majority of the state. Much more so than the other two state universities.

Pro Libertate | September 13, 2007, 1:42pm | #

VM,

The tequila shortage/highnumber suicide watch was a great story arc at Urkobold. Too bad the blog became all soap-operaish in the third season. And let's talk continuity--aren't you dead? And where's Oprah?

Harumph.

Taktix® | September 13, 2007, 2:51pm | #

Chipotle Butter

Two sticks salted butter
1 (small) can of chipoltes in adobo sauce
1 tablespoon of fresh lime juice
2 teaspoons finely ground black pepper

Wouldn't the lime juice curdle the butter? Are you trying to pull a cement mixer-style prank?

How Co-ed of you!

Aresen | September 13, 2007, 3:45pm | #

encourages gluttony

Well, at least the students can still practice lust, sloth, envy, pride, wrath and greed.

JBinMO | September 13, 2007, 4:08pm | #

Thank god someone has finally taken action against this scourge on the children.

Dan T. | September 13, 2007, 4:24pm | #

So did they ban the contest or cancel it?

As much as Reason writers like to whip up nanny-state hysteria, I'm pretty sure there's no way the University could stop private citizens from staging their own corn eating contest, if it's that important to people.

carrick | September 13, 2007, 4:31pm | #

Dan, if you follow the link above you can actually RTFA.

Dan T. | September 13, 2007, 4:42pm | #

I did read it - my point is that an organization deciding not to do something is hardly the same as that activity being "banned".

Reinmoose | September 13, 2007, 4:45pm | #

I did read it - my point is that an organization deciding not to do something is hardly the same as that activity being "banned".

This is true.

What I find interesting is that most places that would worry about cancelling an eating contest (such as hot dogs) for health reasons would be happy to compromise by having eating contests with corn or broccoli or something. I hardly think anyone can really overindulge in corn...

sixstring | September 13, 2007, 4:47pm | #

"I hardly think anyone can really overindulge in corn..."

You should read some of my posts!

carrick | September 13, 2007, 4:48pm | #

U of I Vice President for Student Services Philip Jones canceled a corn-on-the-cob eating contest scheduled for today as part of the "Beat State Week" celebration leading up to the Iowa-Iowa State football game because the corn contest "encourages gluttony," he said.

"I don't know that anyone can say that's a healthy concept," Jones said of the event planned by the U of I Alumni Association.

A VP from the University canceled an event hosted by a third-party (the alumni association) that was part of an on-campus celebration.

The word "banning" covers this scenario.

Ron Bailey | September 13, 2007, 5:20pm | #

carrick is right.

Sal Paradise | September 13, 2007, 6:44pm | #

Sad day for the my alma mater.

Funny thing, they changed the policy in the dining halls a few years ago to make them "all you can eat".

Rice | September 13, 2007, 6:54pm | #

carrick said:
"A VP from the University canceled an event hosted by a third-party (the alumni association) that was part of an on-campus celebration."

The Alumni Association at Iowa is a part of the University superstructure (in other words the employees at the AA get the same U of I employee check that I do), not a third party--that said, its still ridiculous.

There's nothing stopping me from hosting a corn eating contest the next time I'm tailgating.

M | September 13, 2007, 6:56pm | #

at least the students can still practice lust, sloth, envy, pride, wrath and greed.

A quibble, but I think a meaningful one. I learned that the sin is not greed, but avarice, commonly conflated with greed, to the detriment of entrepreneurship. Greed suggests you want to acquire too much, which may be a non-problem, especially since goods tend to circulate and their benefits redound to the community; avarice means you want what is not rightfully yours, which leads to bad things.

I see now that the New Advent Encyclopedia website disagrees with me, as does wiki; I shall wrathfully and slothfully attribute that to an historical decline in precision.

Aresen | September 13, 2007, 7:12pm | #

M

I can usually manage four or five deadly sins on any one day. I find sloth the hardest one to fit in because lust keeps me so busy.

M | September 13, 2007, 7:16pm | #

Uh, TMI tops the list. ;-)

J sub D | September 13, 2007, 7:29pm | #

Speaking of the seven deadly sins...

carrick | September 13, 2007, 9:13pm | #

The Alumni Association at Iowa is a part of the University superstructure (in other words the employees at the AA get the same U of I employee check that I do), . . .

I was not aware of that. I find that somewhat scary.

Brandybuck | September 13, 2007, 9:16pm | #

The seven deadly sins are "deadly" because of the long term damage they do to the soul. They are not the sins that hurt others (crimes), but the sins that hurt the self.

Aresen | September 13, 2007, 9:44pm | #

Brandybuck

The Church of the Coupon Redeemer is currently holding a "7 Remissions for the price of 5" sale. Get yours now!

Aresen
Supreme Heirophant
Church of the Coupon Redeemer

The Atomic Fruitbat | September 14, 2007, 10:03am | #

Corn on the cob? Really? I don't know what kind of superhuman colons those kids have... I mean, maybe someone like the Atomic Fruitbat could handle it, but not me.

My colon is more powerful than the colons of ten strong men! Tremble, villains!