If You Think the Virgin Mary Urinals Are a Sign of Westernization...

Just wait until the John the Baptist Bidet Hits the streets.

From Foreign Policy's blog comes news and pics from the Chinese city of Chongqing, which has

has opened the world's largest restroom. The four-story, 1,000-stall facility features TVs, a soothing soundtrack piped throughout, crocodile- and Virgin Mary-themed urinals, and stalls with no roofs for those who prefer to relieve themselves al fresco.

A local government official brags, "We are spreading toilet culture.... After they use the bathroom [people] will be very, very happy."

They'll be going to hell, but they'll be very, very happy.

More here.

Friday afternoon brainteaser: What do they call Turkish toilets in Turkey?

Comments

Joseph | July 27, 2007, 4:01pm | #

No way that's the Virgin Mary. Which prove once again that to the Chinese, all non-Chinese look the same.

ChicagoTom | July 27, 2007, 4:02pm | #

...and stalls with no roofs for those who prefer to relieve themselves al fresco.

Awesome! Fucking awesome!

de stijl | July 27, 2007, 4:06pm | #

I don't think you can call her a virgin anymore.

sixstring | July 27, 2007, 4:08pm | #

I'll bet no uses the crocodile one. You can rationalize all you want but there is no way I'm taking a chance with reptilian teeth!!

crap-action-jackson | July 27, 2007, 4:08pm | #

What do they call Turkish toilets in Turkey?

"Shitholes"

MikeP | July 27, 2007, 4:12pm | #

Won't Yao Ming just be peeing on the street below?

henry | July 27, 2007, 4:12pm | #

"I don't think you can call her a virgin anymore."

Bullshit! If she did anal and could pass for a technical virgin, I don't see how a few golden showers can negate her holy hymen still being intact.

Richard | July 27, 2007, 4:12pm | #

I've seen that story before, but I can't figure it out. Do the Chinese really want to insult Christians that badly? I thought the whole idea was to put a happy face on totalitarianism until at least after the Olympics.

Btw, No Buddah? No Confucius? No Mao?

Muhummad | July 27, 2007, 4:14pm | #

"What do they call Turkish toilets in Turkey?"

Imams.

henry | July 27, 2007, 4:17pm | #

"Do the Chinese really want to insult Christians that badly?"

You mean "Catholics", right?

Most other Christians don't give two fucks about the bitch--she is just another third tier Bible character, deployed seasonally. Does anybody outside the Catholic Church ever mention this broad outside of Decmeber?

Now a Jesus urinal, that would piss them off.

de stijl | July 27, 2007, 4:19pm | #

henry,

When I use a urinal, I put de stijl, Jr. in thing so I don't dribble on my sabots.

crimethink | July 27, 2007, 4:19pm | #

Sigh. If there's one thing H&R commenters and the Chinese govt can agree on...

Paster Fuzz | July 27, 2007, 4:20pm | #

Henry,


No doubt some Catholic dioceses owes you a settlement.

henry | July 27, 2007, 4:24pm | #

"No doubt some Catholic dioceses owes you a settlement."

No, I was lucky--I only got a wafer on my tongue.

Pastor Fuzz | July 27, 2007, 4:27pm | #

"No, I was lucky--I only got a wafer on my tongue."

Are you certain? Think back. Sometimes it takes awhile for the truth to emerge.

Juan Arteaga | July 27, 2007, 4:30pm | #

There is something really creepy when the government wastes money just to piss off a group of people. If this had been a private restroom, then Ha Ha! But a public one paid with one's taxes? Fuck you, Mr Councilman who came up with this shit.

henry | July 27, 2007, 4:34pm | #

Sorry, Pastor--you can quit fantasizing now.

As for the Catholic Church, I took the advice of Paul (whom I like better as Saul, but...):

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

Stevo Darkly | July 27, 2007, 4:35pm | #

Gad. For the typical Westerner, those urinals seem designed to inhibit the free release of urine through the unclenched urethra.

And henry -- show us on the urinal exactly where Father Flanagan touched you.

henry | July 27, 2007, 4:37pm | #

Man, you guys sure are obsessed about kiddy touchers in the church! I never even brought the subject up. I bet no more than 40% of priests are pedophiles, tops.

Reinmoose | July 27, 2007, 4:41pm | #

Mr. Gillespie, why not choose one of the other pictures from the article? ;)

mk | July 27, 2007, 5:15pm | #

It's the great pee forward.

Akira MacKenzie | July 27, 2007, 11:24pm | #

Ohhhh I WANT one! Just the thing to scare off my Catholic relatives. Now if they only made Jesus one I could kill two birds with one stone: Discourage BOTH my papist and fundy relations and neighbors to stay far away from me.

b-psycho | July 28, 2007, 2:52am | #

They should make one where it's in the shape of a woman's mouth.

b-psycho | July 28, 2007, 2:58am | #

...if only for the controversy. (cut off)

jon | July 28, 2007, 7:41am | #

All I know is that I'm glad I don't have to change the underwear on those sinks. Look at the link, think half a second, and then you'll be glad, too.

Unless you're actually into that, natch.

Joe Schembrie | July 28, 2007, 7:51am | #

So they think that thousands of guys who have to pee are going to hold it in until they get to the building, climb the steps, wait in line, and choose the 'appropriate' urinal.

Did they do market research?

Michael Murphy | July 28, 2007, 10:07am | #

How funny, how creative. Would love to see the Mohammed model!!! Oh, no Mohammed model? Why not? Oh, that.

dlmzzz | July 28, 2007, 10:58am | #

A friend of mine just got back from Beijing, and talked about how public restrooms there are just a hole in the ground that you squat over. They made sure all the kids went before leaving the hotel so they'd never have to use a public toilet. Compared to that, this IS a great leap forward.

mediageek | July 28, 2007, 11:38am | #

God, the Chinese are so frickin' weird.

This is five steps away from tentacle hentai.

mediageek | July 28, 2007, 11:40am | #

And, yes, I know, hentai is Japanese.

/cuttin' the pedants off.

Mad Max | July 28, 2007, 1:20pm | #

One relevant point no-one has mentioned is that the Chinese government does not allow religious freedom for Catholics unless they join a government-sponsored Catholic group opposed to the Pope. Only a minority of Chinese Catholics have exercised that option. For the latest developments, see

http://tinyurl.com/35moyf

There's a fun quote in the article from an official in the government-sponsored official Catholic organization:

"'Beijing will never accept what the church did in Poland,' he said, referring to Pope John Paul II's support for the Solidarity movement, which helped topple communism in his homeland."

Of course, it makes sense for the ChiComs to persecute and mock the Catholics if they're afraid the Pope might inspire the people to overthrow Communism.

Mad Max | July 28, 2007, 1:30pm | #

The latest clarification in the China Daily that, despite reports of improved relatios, the Chinese government won't recognize his authority over Chinese Catholics unless he (the Pope) de-recognizes Taiwan and basically allows Chinese Catholics to be dominated by the Red regime:

http://tinyurl.com/ysyvva

bigbigslacker | July 28, 2007, 1:37pm | #

The urinal in the middle is the Mohammed model. How did the designers know what he looks like?

Atrevete | July 28, 2007, 3:35pm | #

I'd like to see a Chavez model.

Atrevete | July 28, 2007, 3:41pm | #

Henry is wrong about "most Christians" though. Roman Catholics and Eastern/Greek/Russian Orthodox Christians are the vast majority of Christians. I always wondered why Protestants refer to themselves as "Christians" as though they represented the mainstream, when really they are the way in the minority.

ed | July 28, 2007, 6:35pm | #

They look like Mary after a C-section.

wayne | July 29, 2007, 2:16am | #

at the risk of sounding politically correct, it seems to me to be in poor taste for the Chinese (mostly non Christians) to choose an icon of Christianity and piss in her mouth.

wayne | July 29, 2007, 2:21am | #

I guess I should have read the comments before I posted as that turf had already been mowed.

jtbcrib | July 29, 2007, 10:55am | #

Substitute an imam for the Virgin Mary and watch the left explode in outrage. Slapping Catholics has become so tedious and repetitious let's have some fun with the Mooslims for a change!

thoreau | July 29, 2007, 10:12pm | #

And I thought that Japanese toilets were weird.

BobDobalina | July 30, 2007, 7:42am | #

at the risk of sounding politically correct, it seems to me to be in poor taste for the Chinese (mostly non Christians) to choose an icon of Christianity and piss in her mouth.

Considering China's cultivation of Western trade, I seriously doubt they were making an anti-Christian statement, especially on the eve of the Olympics and tourist dollars.

Probably another cultural mistranslation done out of actual good will rather than bad.

Look at how quickly they executed their lousy bureaucrats to ease Western fears over tainted products.

Hmmmm ... liquidating welfare state bureaucrats ... now THERE'S a Chi-Com idea we can all get behind!

Mad Max | July 30, 2007, 3:10pm | #

"Considering China's cultivation of Western trade, I seriously doubt they were making an anti-Christian statement, especially on the eve of the Olympics and tourist dollars."

If they've been following Western culture lately, they'll know that insulting the Virgin Mary wouldn't necessarily bother "sophisticated" Westerners. Witness the comments on H&R.

"Probably another cultural mistranslation done out of actual good will rather than bad."

I suppose that's possible, but let's be open to other possibilities. After all, which of the following sounds more plausible:

(1) An innocent cultural misunderstanding. "In China, peeing into a urinal shaped like a revered cultural figure is a sign of respect! Look at all the Karl Marx and Mao Tse-Tung urinals we have all over the country!" Not.

(2) The deliberate, government-sponsored insult of a persecuted minority. If a city in Iran had a urinal shaped like a rabbi, I think this explanation would occur to more than a few people.