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The British government
has informed a Welsh company that makes a spicy brand of sausage called
"Dragon Sausage" that they must change the name of the product.
Why? Because it doesn't contain actual dragon meat.
I'm Sure There's a "Spotted Dick" Joke in Here, Somewhere
Comments to "I'm Sure There's a "Spotted Dick" Joke in Here, Somewhere":
Eryk Boston | November 25, 2006, 10:24pm | #
I think its nice that they've come right out and admitted that they think Brits are morons.moctopouse | November 25, 2006, 10:31pm | #
So what about "Dragon Fruit"?A long time ago I went to a store and asked for a game called "Dungeons and Dragons." But they gave me neither dungeons nor dragons. All they gave me was some books, some weird dice, and a whole bunch of graph paper.
TWC from Az | November 25, 2006, 11:18pm | #
I don't know about spotted dick but when it rains a lot we get blue dick.
Isaac Bartram | November 25, 2006, 11:35pm | #
So I take it now they can't call it Passion Fruit 'cause it didn't make that cute little number in the typing pool fall madly in love with me. Fine with me.Pineapples come from deciduous trees, not pines. And you can't eat them like regular apples, which I only learned after a few dozen stitches in my mouth. Where was the BritGuv then?
jon coast to coast | November 25, 2006, 11:58pm | #
But how can they prove it has no dragon in it?Aha! They've finally admitted that they have dragon DNA! Those bastards tried to keep it under wraps, but they've finally outsmarted even themselves.
And I don't think they'll be able to deny it this time, since they've admitted it in such a public forum. Ha! The biggest secret since Bigfoot's engagement to Nessie blown because of some sausage inspectors! Oh, the irony of it all! I can hardly contain myself!
Britain is now a parody of itself. The supernannies, the knife registration, fining people who curse out yobs...I can't think of any wacky idea I'd put money on their not having thought of already.
Isaac Bartram | November 26, 2006, 12:33am | #
Britain is now a parody of itself.One of the best lines I ever read about Britain was when some writer referred to Britain as "a decadent little island sinking giggling into the sea."
I can't for the life of me remember who it was. It was back in the 60s though. Google couldn't even help. Maybe I dreamed it, or something. Like I said it was the 60s. :)
Lee | November 26, 2006, 12:41am | #
Isn't that the reason that a number of products here in the US have the word "brand" in them? For example, Wolf Brand Chili doesn't actually have any wolf meat in it, and if they called it Wolf Chili it would violate truth in advertising laws. Or at least that's what I heard, I could be wrong.Mike Laursen | November 26, 2006, 12:50am | #
I think the new law makes a lot of sense. I'd be p.o.'d if I found out my Thankgiving turducken didn't come from a real turducken.jon | November 26, 2006, 1:26am | #
Mr. Bartram,My favorite comment about Britain is from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. One of them says to the other that England is a real place and not "a conspiracy of cartographers."
jon | November 26, 2006, 1:28am | #
Damnit, should have looked it up.Rosencrantz: I don't believe in it anyway.
Guildenstern: What?
Rosencrantz: England.
Guildenstern: Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?
Stevo Darkly | November 26, 2006, 4:03am | #
What about "Chicken of the Sea" tuna? We already have record of Jessica Simpson being confused by that mislabeling.Ryan | November 26, 2006, 7:36am | #
Does this mean Welch Rarebit does not have any Rarebit?http://www.therecipereader.com/welch-rarebit-ordway.htm
Andrew Ian Dodge | November 26, 2006, 7:57am | #
Actually its not the fault of the British goverment, except in the fact they are part of it all, but in fact that of Brussels incessant meddling in every aspect of life.TWC from Az | November 26, 2006, 8:46am | #
Well Stevo, since Chicken of the Sea tastes just like chicken there is no harm, no fowl, and no problemFinFangFoom | November 26, 2006, 9:10am | #
A few years ago, some consumer protection part of the EU sued the company Haribo, the originators of the gummi bear, because Haribo's slogan was "Haribo makes kids happy" (it rhymes in German). Since it was not in fact true that Haribo products inevitably led to kids being happy, it was a violation of truth in advertising.andy | November 26, 2006, 9:19am | #
"except in the fact they are part of it all, but in fact that of Brussels incessant meddling in every aspect of life."Didn't read anything about Brussels.
Most of the UK's kookery can be blamed on the longterm trend of surreal paternalism unique to itself. Even without the EU, I'm afraid the citizens of that country would still be subject to all the nonsensical whims of their government that we read about regularly.
WLM | November 26, 2006, 9:41am | #
There is precedent in England for this sort of thing:http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/crunchy.htm
"Milton: It says 'crunchy frog' quite clearly.
"Praline: Well, the superintendent thought it was an almond whirl. People won't expect there to be a frog in there. They're bound to think it's some form of mock frog.
"Milton: (insulted) Mock frog? We use no artificial preservatives or additives of any kind!
"Praline: Nevertheless, I must warn you that in future you should delete the words 'crunchy frog', and replace them with the legend 'crunchy raw unboned real dead frog', if you want to avoid prosecution."
When will they think of all the poor people who are deceived by sweetbreads and sweetmeats, not to mention divinity.
Akira MacKenzie | November 26, 2006, 11:25am | #
Damn it. WLM beat me to the punch with the Crunchy Frog reference."It's a fair cop."
Ryan | November 26, 2006, 11:42am | #
Are you telling me the Harry Potter Chocolate Frog has no real frog in it?http://www.candydirect.com/specialty/Harry-Potter-Chocolate-Frogs.html
Akira MacKenzie | November 26, 2006, 11:45am | #
Ryan:Good point, but I think they can get away with it since the candy is a reference to the books.
Chocolate Bunnies during Easter however...those are anti-advertising-fraud crusader's wet dream come true.
kevrob | November 26, 2006, 12:47pm | #
Amd I suppose there's no actual toad in Toad-In-The-Hole?Kevin
Isaac Bartram | November 26, 2006, 1:38pm | #
Pigs in a blanket?James Anderson Merritt | November 26, 2006, 4:41pm | #
Bear Whizz Beer? "It's the Water! That's why it's yellow!"Ruthless | November 26, 2006, 6:43pm | #
Just across the Ohio River from Sinincincinnati is made a faux sausage called "getta." (Happened to drive by Gliers just a short while ago.)This company had the good sense many years ago to say, "Hey, you bet we're making sausage adulterated with oats. You got a problem with that?"
It's just sad from my point of view, as I had lovely relatives down in Tennessee making getta, but labelling it sausage... family business up in dragon flames.
madpad | November 26, 2006, 9:56pm | #
WLM, you left out the best line in the bit...Praline: Well don't you even take the bones out?
Milton: If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy would it?
BTW, after consulting the wikipedia list of English cuisine I find that...Shepherd's Pie is NOT made with real shepherd, Toad-in-the-Hole contains no frogs and Pork Faggots...well, do I really need to go there?
thoreau | November 26, 2006, 10:05pm | #
What about animal crackers?I used to love those when I was a kid!
I just found out Captain Crunch has no Captains in it. And the Crunch Berries aren't real berries, either. Man this sucks.
Did you know Chicko-sticks don't have Chicken in them? And just what's in a Slim Jim, anyway? The mind reels.
Elephant Ears? I mean, I figured we were buying them at a carnival and all...
Happy Jack | November 26, 2006, 10:45pm | #
Head cheese doesn't contain any cheese, but I don't know how you could tell. It looks like puke in jello.Pro Libertate | November 27, 2006, 9:43am | #
Does this mean that there'll be hag in my haggis from now on? Wow, I didn't think they could make it any harder to eat. Wrong again!madpad | November 27, 2006, 9:52am | #
Does this mean that there'll be hag in my haggis from now on?That'll put hair on your ass!
Isaac Bartram | November 27, 2006, 10:01am | #
The British government needs to start collecting royalties on all the comedy gold they're producing lately.The rate they're going they could wipe out the budget deficit in a month.
That explains why I didn't get the expected buzz from eating that can of Potted Meat.