Knives Don't Kill People...
Katherine Mangu-Ward | November 17, 2006, 3:23pm

...unless you're in the U.K., where this ad recently appeared in Underground stations and buses. The poster was created from a design done by a
14 year-old Thomas Keller from Cardinal Vaughan Memorial School in Kensington.
The "s" at the end of "lives" is a Swiss Army knife. Pretty clever for
a 14 year-old. One hopes adult subway riders will not be swayed.
I suppose they're just trying to
keep up with the MacJoneses.
Via
Dynamist
GILMORE | November 17, 2006, 5:50pm | #
I'm not sure how the Swiss Army knife could be threatening.
Funny story opportunity! =
I was mugged by a guy with a swiss army knife in Lisbon, Portugal, September 1999
When I was filing the report with the Lisbon Police later that evening, the cop stopped to ask me why exactly I'd chosen to attack the mugger.
I said, "Because he tried to mug me with a @#$&* swiss army knife. What would you have done?"
It seemed an obvious reaction to me. The cop still didnt really get it. I helped him understand by taking his pen out of his hand and then pretending to 'threaten' him with 3 inches of it. He then seemed to get the picture, although he probably wrote "@#*& crazy americans" in his report.
[there *was* another reason, much less funny - i'd had ~$2K in cash in my bag at the moment. Yes, people should use travelers checks. It had been on my agenda at the time]
The mugger (a skinny moroccan heroin addict) accidentally sliced open my hand before I got proper hold of him and proceeded to demonstrate my Tai-Bo. (he had been trying to gesture with the knife the same moment I decided to grab him; i apparently put my hand in front of its path and never noticed getting cut)
The profusely-bleeding hand led to some amusement seconds later because as I was wrestling him to the ground to better kick his few remaining teeth in, we both noticed big bloodstains spreading everywhere that I'd grabbed him.
We both stopped fighting for a second, freaked out, trying to figure out which one of us was spewing blood, pulling our clothes, looking in our shirts, etc.
As soon as we both saw it was just the palm of my hand, we immediately went right back to what we were doing. It was a perfectly-timed comedy routine.
Even funnier, and right on time as well - my girlfriend who had been with me wasnt aware that I had gotten the guy under control, and had immediately screamed and run away (I guess she assumed I'd planned to save her by sacrificing myself)...
anyway, like 20 seconds later, totally out of the blue, she comes running *back*, sees me standing above the guy - now covered in blood - screams, runs away AGAIN. That was so awesomely funny. I thought she'd run away so fast she'd lapped us (she was an avid runner).
I giggled about that for hours and hours. Running away.... then running back to a crime... [for what? me? her purse? to subtly remind me to hurry up, that we had plans for dinner?]... THEN screaming, and then running away again.
I joked with her, "what: you forgot to scream the first time, and went back to reenact it?"
mercy, i still find that funny
dp | November 18, 2006, 3:28pm | #
Reading this (and the concomittant comments) put me in the mind of recent events dealing with edged weapons and self-defense in the mega-metropolis of Stuart, FL.
http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p_action=doc&p_theme=tcnp&p_topdoc=1&p_docnum=1&p_sort=YMD_date:D&p_product=TCNP&p_text_direct-0=document_id=(%20115797D5350647A0%20)
Stuart News, The (FL){PUBLICATION2}
Date: November 15, 2006
Section: Local
Edition: St. Lucie County
Page: B5
Column:
Memo:
Memo2:
Correction:
Robber, clerk engage in machete standoff
Byline: GABRIEL MARGASAK gabriel.margasak@scripps.com
Source:
STUART -- The robber pulled out a machete and demanded cash. Behind the counter, the clerk refused and pulled out her machete.
"If you come in, I'm here," Guillermina Sanchez said in defense of the Lil' Saints Texaco store on Kanner Highway just north of Salerno Road.
She described the encounter to The Stuart News through a Spanish-speaking translator on Tuesday.
Hearing the ruckus, her manager appeared, also armed with a machete, and the two convenience store workers chased the robber away at about 9:44 p.m. The suspect escaped.
"We have it (the machete) there in case this happens. We've had robbers come two times before. They come with a big knife or something like that," said Sanchez, 46. "We got the idea of putting the machete there for these cases."
Authorities suspect the robber actually got his machete inside the store, which sells them.
The robber had approached the counter with a bag of cookies and asked for a pack of Newport cigarettes.
When Sanchez turned her back to get them, he pulled the large blade from under his shirt.
He fled after the standoff.
The robber was described as a white man, about 25 to 30 years old, with medium brown hair and a receding hairline. He had no mustache but a possible light goatee. He was wearing a baggy blue pullover sweatshirt with white accents and writing across the chest. He also had a pair of sunglasses propped on his head.
Even with the string of robberies, Sanchez said she would continue to work at the store.
"If they come with a pistol, of course, I would have had to open the register," she said.