Teachers Union Madness

Have the teachers unions "absolutely positively lost their Goddamned minds," as Ryan Sager asserts? Well, at least one of their members seems to have. From a Washington Times account:

A former Washington Teachers Union official who was convicted of stealing union dues is seeking leniency because she thinks she's being stalked by a small person with a spear, federal court records show.
In "a new plea for leniency, [Gwendolyn M. Hemphill] now asserts that she suffers from a serious mental disease, including psychotic episodes in which she is confronted by 'a small, dark-skinned person with a thin Roman nose, small lips and a spear, who is dressed like a native African,' " prosecutors say in a pre-sentencing memo filed this week in U.S. District Court.

[Link via Ivan Osorio.]

Comments

jp | February 14, 2006, 5:09pm | #

Isn't she describing a movie from the seventies with Sally Field?

Frank Sinatra | February 14, 2006, 5:11pm | #

Exactly what point are you trying to make here? That crazy people are funny? That teachers' unions deserve contempt? What are you trying to say?

Alan Vanneman | February 14, 2006, 5:12pm | #

This is an item about a claim made on behalf of one teachers union official, not "teachers unions."
And it's about a false claim of insanity, rather than evidence of real insanity. So the headline is doubly wrong. It isn't only the Democrats who can do better.

Number 6 | February 14, 2006, 5:37pm | #

Oh, for dog's sake. It was amusing. That's all. I suggest removing the stick.

brian423 | February 14, 2006, 6:03pm | #

She hallucinates racist caricatures.

Swillfredo Pareto | February 14, 2006, 6:06pm | #

Isn't she describing a movie from the seventies with Sally Field?

I think it was Karen Black and it was called Trilogy of Terror.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073820/

ChicagoTom | February 14, 2006, 6:09pm | #

Oh, for dog's sake. It was amusing. That's all. I suggest removing the stick.

The point seems to be that not only are officials of teachers unions metaphorically crazy, but some may also be literally crazy as well.

If she wasn't a former official of a teacher's union would this story have generated a post from Mr. Doherty? I would vote no.

As a side note, wasn't this a plot to one of the stories in Trilogy of Terror

SY | February 14, 2006, 6:14pm | #

It's Inky!

Paul | February 14, 2006, 6:15pm | #

I have no particular comment on the content of this story, but I do want to point out that "Teachers Union Madness" is a bit like saying "Crazy Insanity", "High Tallness". Just my opinion.

ray_g | February 14, 2006, 6:15pm | #

Dinsdale!!!

Rimfax | February 14, 2006, 6:20pm | #

Note: Gwen Hemphill is black.

Barbara Bullock, her old boss and co-conspirator (and the primary witness against her), already tried this trick to no avail.

Mr. F. Le Mur | February 14, 2006, 6:21pm | #

That crazy people are funny?
People faking crazy in court are funny. Teachers' unions are funny.

She hallucinates racist caricatures.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/08/18/AR2005081801769.html

FXKLM | February 14, 2006, 6:35pm | #

Except for the racial angle, it sounds like she stole that from Allie McBeal.

jp | February 14, 2006, 6:35pm | #

Thanks, Swillfredo! Gotta love imdb.

Stevo Darkly | February 14, 2006, 7:12pm | #

Her hallucinations also sound kinda like the Oompa-Loompas in the book version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The version I read, anyway. Different times, you understand.

brian423 | February 14, 2006, 7:28pm | #

This reminds me of the lyrics to an old song:

For weeks after that I was haunted
Though no one could see him but me
Right by my side was the little blue man
Wherever I happened to be.

"I wuv you! I wuv you!" said the little blue man
"I wuv you! I wuv you to bits."
"I wuv you!" He loved me said the little blue man
And scared me right out of my wits.

You don’t hear this song too much anymore. Maybe it’s considered offensive to blue people.

And maybe Hemphill’s last name tells us why she’s seeing things.

treefroggy | February 14, 2006, 8:35pm | #

At least she wasn't being chased by a little one-eyed man wearing a helmet.

Patrick | February 14, 2006, 10:07pm | #

Think that's crazy...

The American Federation of Teachers is holding a day of protests against John Stossel

So mark your calendars: March 8th is Anti-Stossel Day!

Umbriel | February 14, 2006, 10:27pm | #

Caucasian features, black skin, and african dress sounds rather like the human form of Nyarlathotep:
http://www.netherreal.de/library/lex_entry/n1.htm#Nyarlathotep

...so maybe bryan423 was right about the racist part.

spur | February 14, 2006, 11:10pm | #

a thin roman nose and her walkman starting to melt, ohhhh sweetness

Comment Submission Error | February 14, 2006, 11:21pm | #

Is it just me, or does that little imp from the Trilogy of Terror look just like the Diablo 2, act 3, tribal butchers? I always hated those little fuckers.

An anti-stossel rally is a great place to bring a sniper rifle. Oh wait, just kidding.

NoStar | February 15, 2006, 12:08am | #

Teacher Union madness
Was killing my country
Solitary sadness comes over me

Almost missed that one, Brian.
I would have gone with:
Hey! Teacher, leave those funds alone.

JK | February 15, 2006, 1:18am | #

a small, dark-skinned person with a thin Roman nose, small lips and a spear, who is dressed like a native African

From that description, I suspect that she is being stalked by a native Australian (or Indonesian) adolescent tribesman. And the stalker is probably just hungry.

Douglas Fletcher | February 15, 2006, 5:14am | #

psychotic episodes in which she is confronted by 'a small, dark-skinned person with a thin Roman nose, small lips and a spear, who is dressed like a native African

She probably just needs some more diversity and tolerance classes, to help her realize her little dark-skinned psychotic vision has just as many rights as anyone else, and no doubt a proud heritage, to boot.

Czar | February 15, 2006, 6:21am | #

So wait... she's being stalked by the kindergarteners from Recess?

Thomas Paine's Goiter | February 15, 2006, 10:07am | #

So wait... she's being stalked by the kindergarteners from Recess?

Fantastic reference.

anon | February 15, 2006, 11:36am | #

Man, that post is genius. There are crazy teachers! Of course, there aren't any crazy corporate execs, Republicans, or military people, though. Nice catch (not).

Rimfax | February 15, 2006, 12:03pm | #

Man, anon, that was so incisive and pithy. You really put Brian in his place. Uh, not.

Happy trolling, dude!

ChrisO | February 15, 2006, 1:23pm | #

"Trilogy of Terror"--wow, I hadn't thought about that movie in a zillion years. That might well be the worst movie ever made.

As far as Gwendolyn Hemphill goes, since she's not even smart or creative enough to develop a convincing "crazy personality"--no wonder she rose high in the teachers' union.

RexRhino | February 15, 2006, 1:47pm | #

Blah! The sooner the education system in the United States implodes, the better.

Stevo Duran Duranly | February 15, 2006, 2:39pm | #

Foget the teachers unions. What about the Union of the Snake? I hear it's on the rise.

joe | February 15, 2006, 4:13pm | #

So, uh, do libertarians really want to start using the insane actions of individuals to smear the groups to which those individuals belong, and the causes those groups espouse?

anon | February 16, 2006, 12:31am | #

It's not my fault! I was being stalked by joe from H&R!

Stevo Darkly | February 16, 2006, 2:34am | #

joe: Touche'!

Or as you recently outdid yourself by recasting it: Freedom poke!

rob | February 16, 2006, 12:32pm | #

"So, uh, do libertarians really want to start using the insane actions of individuals to smear the groups to which those individuals belong, and the causes those groups espouse?" - joe

Is it fair to use those insane actions to smear the group if it only uses people who are guilty of graft and using mental illness as a dodge?

Then again, it's not like it's an unheard-of partisan method. How many times have people in this very forum bemoaned the stupidity, incompetence, venality etc etc ad nauseum of one group while trying desperately to wish away the same things in the group they're partisan to?

Laika's Last Woof | February 16, 2006, 3:13pm | #

Her persuer didn't happen to make repeated demands for two dollars?