Dunkin' Dhimmitude

Michelle Malkin scores the scalp of . . . celeb chef Rachel Ray.

Does Dunkin’ Donuts really think its customers could mistake Rachael Ray for a terrorist sympathizer? The Canton-based company has abruptly canceled an ad in which the domestic diva wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men.

Some observers, including ultra-conservative Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, were so incensed by the ad that there was even talk of a Dunkin’ Donuts boycott.

The company at first pooh-poohed the complaints, claiming the black-and-white wrap was not a keffiyeh. But the right-wing drumbeat on the blogosphere continued and by yesterday, Dunkin’ Donuts decided it’d be easier just to yank the ad.

Said the suits in a statement: ‘‘In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial.’’

You've come a long way, blogosphere!

Matt Welch's seminal 2005 piece on the death of blogospherian innocence here. 

Comments

dhex | May 28, 2008, 1:00pm | #

michele malkin is, like, the worst performance artist ever.

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 1:05pm | #

If this is what it takes to rid the planet of Rachel Ray, so be it.

Stephen the Goldberger | May 28, 2008, 1:06pm | #

I saw this on reddit. This is "freedom fries" level of retarded. Dhex is giving her too much credit. She's actually this crazy, and its astonishing that she's seen as a respected national figure by some and not a total wingnut by all.

Elemenope | May 28, 2008, 1:07pm | #

What unbelievable douchebags. A scarf *looks like it might be* a piece of cloth that people from a different part of the world wear, and all of a sudden its presence is giving aid and comfort to terrorists?

WTF?

JLM | May 28, 2008, 1:09pm | #

Thank you for saving us from this latest threat, Michelle Malkin.

This has got to be the dumbest thing that I've heard in a while.

Chris Potter | May 28, 2008, 1:10pm | #

I would boycott Dunkin Donuts for this, but then I'd have to end my boycott for them serving "soda" that's actually 99% ice. It sucks, too, because Krispy Kreme gives me diarrhea.

joe | May 28, 2008, 1:13pm | #

Not even the terrorism angle can make me care about what women think about what other women are wearing.

Happy Jack | May 28, 2008, 1:14pm | #

This is "freedom fries" level of retarded.

Yep. I think she's boycotting Starbucks, too. Tim Horton's has good coffee, but their based in socialistic Canada. What's a wingnut to brew?

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 1:16pm | #

Isn't Rachel Ray's middle name Hussein?

Jozef | May 28, 2008, 1:17pm | #

You know who else is telling women what not to wear? Islamic terrorists! Oh the irony...

Naga Sadow | May 28, 2008, 1:19pm | #

The blogosphere is what got this ad pulled? Obviously it's only a matter of time until trolling rules the world.

*looks in Urkobold's direction*

joe | May 28, 2008, 1:20pm | #

I, for one, welcome our taint-withering overlord.

joe | May 28, 2008, 1:20pm | #

URKOBOLD f'tang!

dhex | May 28, 2008, 1:21pm | #

there's a really odd undercurrent here as well. it's sort of vaguely related to the santorum theory of nonlocal magical sodomy - that is, homosexual acts between men in maryland affect the bonds of marriage in idaho and the like.

in this case we can call it the malkin neckerchief hypothesis - allowing rachel ray to wear a vaguely similar piece of clothing to something worn by palestinians and half-washed art students across this nation of ours causes...something...to happen.

"For her part, Malkin was pleased with Dunkin’s response: ‘‘It’s refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists.’’"

for me - and i'm just a simple latte drinking coastal elite here, so bear with me - being afraid of clothing is pretty cowardly. i'm sure i'm missing the actual text within the text, as it were.

libertate: i believe her middle name is actually "juicy ass" but i may be wrong on that.

ed | May 28, 2008, 1:23pm | #

Raytards.

Jorgen | May 28, 2008, 1:24pm | #

"Jozef | May 28, 2008, 1:17pm | #
You know who else is telling women what not to wear? Islamic terrorists! Oh the irony..."

Jozef wins the thread.

Peter H. Cropes | May 28, 2008, 1:24pm | #

When I was a boy, it was always a good day when we could land a few sun-caught perch down at the ox mine sinkhole. Daddy would smack them across the head with his old special Carter wrench, and fillet them quicker than they could die. I remember good fish so fresh the fin on the side was still risin' up and down in the pan. We fried them in honest butter and put lemon alongside, that was meal enough for us.

Yet here I see on Food Television that a woman named Rachael Ray has claimed that perch is low, and says to get a fish by the name of "ahi" instead. Ahi looks red and wicked, like a steak cut from a man's thigh. It is said to cost great sums, much greater than meat. I don't like this woman, and I understand she lives in the woods. Well, I know woods. I see she has dogs. Well, dogs are of low persuasion and easily distracted by sulfured eggs.

Maybe next time she goes on television, she won't have the same low opinion of simple sun-caught perch.

http://peterhcropes.blogspot.com/2007/06/good-sun-caught-perch.html

FrBunny | May 28, 2008, 1:26pm | #

If the Unstoppable Rachel Ray were to collide with the Immovable Tyra Banks, what would happen?

Y'know... physics-wise.

Jim Bob | May 28, 2008, 1:27pm | #

I didn't believe even Malkin could attain this level of insanity. A person must be severely, perhaps even pathologically, disconnected from reality to be able to regard her conclusions as rational.

Dread | May 28, 2008, 1:28pm | #

If you play the Coca Cola jingle backwards it says, "Death to America."

The Geico "cavemen" are clearly an Arab jihadi cell posing as suburbanite Neaderthals.

Pillsberry must be boycotted until they renounce their support for Islamic terror and reshape their 'Crescent' rolls into a more acceptable shape.

Brian24 | May 28, 2008, 1:31pm | #

joe definitely wins the thread.

mediageek | May 28, 2008, 1:31pm | #

If the Unstoppable Rachel Ray were to collide with the Immovable Tyra Banks, what would happen?

Y'know... physics-wise.

It would totally depend on the amount of EVOO involved.

Yum-O!™

joe | May 28, 2008, 1:32pm | #

All this time, and I never realized my Italian aunties had converted to Islam.

Dunkin Donuts Stockholders | May 28, 2008, 1:32pm | #

Hamas and al Qaeda will be getting their donuts from Krispy Kreme now.

way to go Michelle.

joe | May 28, 2008, 1:35pm | #

Now, when I say "aunties," I mean my great-aunts.

So. You know. Count your fingers if you shake my hand, and all of that.

dhex | May 28, 2008, 1:40pm | #

why would you count your fingers?

Auntie Mame | May 28, 2008, 1:40pm | #

Patrick! Take off that scarf at once! Your look like a terrorist!

J sub D | May 28, 2008, 1:43pm | #

All this time, and I never realized my Italian aunties had converted to Islam.

I'm thinking about the terrorist symbolism of the babushka now.

Michelle, please go away.

Ali | May 28, 2008, 1:44pm | #

So, what, should I throw my kaffiyeh away now? Can't I wear cultural/traditional item of clothing anymore just because Arafat wore one? Did he wear any underwear, too?

madmikefisk | May 28, 2008, 1:48pm | #

How does one confuse that scarf with a keffiyeh? Normally Malkin is above this sort of stuff.

That being said, I'm glad the ad was pulled. Not due to any cultural sensitivity issues, but because that scarf is just hideous. Don't see how the stylist thought that thing went with Ms. Ray's outfit.

ChrisO | May 28, 2008, 1:49pm | #

It doesn't even look like a Keffiyeh, and she's not wearing it on her head. This has to be one of the silliest things ever to come from the blogosphere. I wouldn't kick Michelle Malkin out of bed, though...so long as she kept her yap shut.

joe | May 28, 2008, 1:49pm | #

dhex,

It's an old saying, refering to a dishonest person. "If you shake his hand, count your fingers." Because he might steal some.

Brandybuck | May 28, 2008, 1:52pm | #

I ran into this mini-panic last week. They had the picture next to some random leftist protesters wearing kafiyyehs. The two pieces of cloth have obviously different designs. What Rachel Rey is wearing is NOT a Palestinian kafiyyeh, which has a specific symbolic pattern. The people promoting this panic were deliberately confusing their readers.

Rachel Rey: Slightly swarthy non-WASP skin tone, vaguely Arabic looking.
Scarf: If you squint if sort of looks like what Arafat used to wrap his head in.
Conclusion: OH NOES WEE R DOOMD!

Michelle Malkin's spokesperson | May 28, 2008, 1:52pm | #

Eternal vigilance, motherfuckers!

We have a civilization to defend.

Ali | May 28, 2008, 1:54pm | #

I will make sure to wear my Palestinian Kaffiya to work tomorrow. What next, they're gonna come for our falafel, too?

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 1:56pm | #

Emeril doesn't ally himself with our enemies.

Colonel_Angus | May 28, 2008, 2:02pm | #

http://b.imagehost.org/view/0107/ray.jpg

Nutter | May 28, 2008, 2:02pm | #

Damn! Now I have to shave every day in case some right wing nutbag thinks I'm growing a beard to emulate Bin Laden.

brotherben | May 28, 2008, 2:04pm | #

FrBunny | May 28, 2008, 1:26pm | #

If the Unstoppable Rachel Ray were to collide with the Immovable Tyra Banks, what would happen?""


I don't know but I would pay for the pay-per-view!!!

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 2:06pm | #

Nor does Alton Brown. Only Rachel Ray, among the Food Network chefs, is a traitor.

Former Foodie Anthony Bourdain is still suspect. He looks unusually swarthy for an American. Keep a close eye on him. Vigilance!

tarran | May 28, 2008, 2:07pm | #

You know, Michelle Malkin's hysteria reminds me of the hysteria that attended some guys publishing a bunch of cartoons in Europe.

Except for the comparative lack of violence. The sense of grievance though - the outrage over seeing political symbols that upset her dignity - spot on.

charlie | May 28, 2008, 2:09pm | #

The funniest thing about this? Just two weeks ago Michelle Malkin announced that she was no longer drinking Starbucks because of its promotion of all that evil "social responsibility" stuff (http://michellemalkin.com/2008/05/05/why-i-gave-up-starbucks/).

After her readers got over the shock of this stunning announcement, she then implored them to support Dunkin' Donuts because they are, apparently, "unapologetic supporters of immigration enforcement."

Now that she's sworn off two of the largest coffee chains, what's left? Somehow I don't see her moving on to Au Bon Pain (which, like John Kerry, I'm sure is "too French" for Malkin's brand of perpetually outraged "conservatism")...

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 2:12pm | #

This is just crazy stupid.

But I do find both Ms. Ray AND Ms. Malkin to be hotties. Pretty sure neither knows how to weld, but still hotties anyway.

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 2:13pm | #

Now that she's sworn off two of the largest coffee chains, what's left?

McDonald's, of course. Where have you been man?

brotherben | May 28, 2008, 2:16pm | #

For an iced latte, I really like the 'mocha java chiller' from sonic.

Orange Line Special | May 28, 2008, 2:16pm | #

I realize this site wants to descend to the ThinkProgress level, but those who actually care about, you know, the facts, should see these:

link
link
link
link

Compare what's written at those links with the article... and learn.

Marcvs | May 28, 2008, 2:17pm | #

I didn't believe even Malkin could attain this level of insanity.

She argued in favor of the Japanese internment camps. She is a fucking loon.

John | May 28, 2008, 2:20pm | #

Where is the link to Malkin complaining about the ad? The link right now is only to a celbrity gossip collumn in the Boston Herald. If Malkin really did complain about it, she is an idiot, but I would like to see where she did.

Reinmoose | May 28, 2008, 2:20pm | #

Derrrrrrrrrrrr

PM770 | May 28, 2008, 2:20pm | #

Sometimes I used to wonder if Michelle Malkin was a liberal plant sent to discredit conservatism with absurb rantings. But its all over the blogosphere and the conspiracy can't be that widespread can it?

What happened to conservatism? Is this what it has now mutated into? It is no longer concerned with shrinking government.

It wants to build a multi-billion dollar wall on the Mexican border and is finding hidden terrorist shout-outs in apparel choices of donut pitchwomen.

The sadness in this is when McCain loses in November, these psudo-conservatives are going to claim its becasue he wasn't aggressive enough against illegal immigration.

charlie | May 28, 2008, 2:22pm | #

Well, McDonald's does sell a lot of pork-based products, so giving them business will surely piss off all those Islamic jihadists who are paying such careful attention to America's coffee purchasing habits.

Then again, I'm sure some of the produce McDonald's buys is picked by illegal, probably terrorist-sympathizing, immigrants.

When it comes down to it, is any coffee safe for a patriotic American to drink? I mean, after all, coffee drinking spread through the Muslim world before reaching Europe...

And you know what else spread through the Muslim world before reaching the West? That's right -- TERRORISM.

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 2:23pm | #

She argued in favor of the Japanese internment camps. She is a fucking loon.

Supporting almost any FDR policy should get one that title. Unless joe disagrees, then I withdraw the statement.

John | May 28, 2008, 2:23pm | #

"Is Ray’s blunder worth boycotting DD over? I’ll be interested to hear the company’s take. At this point, I’m going to give the management the benefit of the doubt. They have braved boycott threats and attacks over their lonely, principled stance against illegal immigration. Given their pro-rule of law, America first position, I highly doubt the executive offices are filled with moonbats who endorse Ray’s keffiyeh chic."

Malkin from one of the links above. She is still nuts for thinking Ray committed any kind of blunder. But it is still not acurate to claim that Malkin claimed Ray's scalp over the deal.

Elemenope | May 28, 2008, 2:23pm | #

If the Unstoppable Rachel Ray were to collide with the Immovable Tyra Banks, what would happen?

Fusion, bitches.

joe | May 28, 2008, 2:27pm | #

I gotta agree with Guy here. Malkin and Rey are both hotties, and the Paul Newman's coffee at Mickey D's is teh awesome.

I once got a big cup of McDonald's coffee on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, just before the new stuff had gone nationwide, but after they had introduced it in the civilized parts of the nation.

Quite the unpleasant surprise.

phlogiston | May 28, 2008, 2:27pm | #

Are we sure that Michelle Malkin isn't actually Cesar?

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 2:28pm | #

Radley,

Is it true? Did you really over-hype this to tabloid/E! level when it is nothing more than one of your fellow FNN folks asking a simple question?

Reinmoose | May 28, 2008, 2:29pm | #

Isn't the Paul Newman's coffee at McDonald's supposed to be organic though? Wouldn't that disqualify it immediately from being something Malkin would drink?

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 2:29pm | #

Full disclosure: I grind my Starbucks beans fresh every morning and prepare with nuked tap water in a coffee press.

I hate hate hate McD coffee, not a fan of DD coffee but will take either in a pinch.

Joel | May 28, 2008, 2:30pm | #

Normally Malkin is above this sort of stuff.

You must be thinking of some other woman named Malkin. Because Michelle Malkin, famed Conservative wingnut, is way not above this sort of stuff if it'll buy her another fifteen minutes.

Haven't seen the ad, but in that still the scarf does sorta look like a keffiyeh. Not, you know, that there's anything wrong with that...

Danny | May 28, 2008, 2:33pm | #

It doesn't even look like a Keffiyeh, and she's not wearing it on her head.

And she's not a man! But she's DEFINITELY a terrorist sympathizer, at the least.

Reinmoose | May 28, 2008, 2:35pm | #

I have to give DD's kudos over their most recent ad campaign. Also, if you get their coffee, try it with coconut flavoring - mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 2:39pm | #

While Bobby Flay is not a terrorist, I think he might be a Neo-Nazi.

Episiarch | May 28, 2008, 2:39pm | #

Malkin is a Max Headroom/Adam Selene/Professor O'Blivion type virtual construct who sucks people in with appealing looks and then exposes them to massive right-wing stupidity. She exists only in cyberspace. Have you noticed that all her appearances on Fox are by "video"?

There are special glasses you must wear when watching her, and then she looks like this and her shirt always says "OBEY".

brotherben | May 28, 2008, 2:39pm | #

Wouldn't an ultra cuntservative like malkin be more of a kool-aid drinker?

Reinmoose | May 28, 2008, 2:42pm | #

Bobby Flay terrorizes my home whenever he's accidentally on my TV. Does that count?

Oh, and someone tell that **** Mario Batali to STFU!

Butler T. Reynolds | May 28, 2008, 2:43pm | #

Conservatism has really gone off the deep end. If conservatives get any worse it will make Bob Barr look like a libertarian.

Stephen the Goldberger | May 28, 2008, 2:43pm | #

I think Rachel Ray is just one of those figures about whom women cannot think of rationally. The same phenomemnon happened with Martha Stewart before she was imprisoned. Rachel Ray is despised by all my female friends, and I really don't understand it.

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 2:46pm | #

It would be fine with me if someone picked up Bobby Flay by the ankles and beat Mario Batali to death with him.

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 2:50pm | #

It's not a male-female thing; it's a totally useless in the kitchen thing. I'm not usually violent, but if someone were to dump her into a vat of EVOO and ignite it, I'd not be terribly upset. Incidentally, when did promoters decide that there's no such thing as over-exposure?

I dig Martha Stewart. She's got ex-con street cred and can do some nice decorations.

kelley | May 28, 2008, 2:56pm | #

Hey, Dunkin' Donuts, see what happens when you make a commercial without music by They Might Be Giants?

T | May 28, 2008, 2:59pm | #

Rachel Ray is despised by all my female friends, and I really don't understand it.

Possibly because she's a no-talent non-cooking nitwit who has a voice akin to shattering glass? At least that's what my wife tells me right after she changes the channel to prevent RR's visage from polluting her home for more than 0.8 nanoseconds.

I don't get it either, but I have a Y chromosome, so what do I know?

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 3:00pm | #

Rachel Ray and Michell Malkin in EVOO . . . mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Episiarch | May 28, 2008, 3:03pm | #

Possibly because she's a no-talent non-cooking nitwit who has a voice akin to shattering glass?

Bingo. My dad thinks she's great and told me to check her show out. I changed the channel within 2 minutes. And she has a fat ass so watching just for eye candy (like DeLaurentis) is pointless.

David | May 28, 2008, 3:03pm | #

Doesn't it send a mixed message to wear a keffiyeh with a cleavage bearing top?

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 3:03pm | #

It's not like we're talking Nigella Lawson or something. There's not a hottie shield around Rachel Ray's evil, useless ubiquity.

Of course, my only chefette is Mrs. Libertate. Who doesn't hate Ms. Ray, but does find her annoying.

David | May 28, 2008, 3:04pm | #

And she has a fat ass so watching just for eye candy (like DeLaurentis) is pointless.

Sir Mix-A-Lot would disagree.

Reinmoose | May 28, 2008, 3:05pm | #

I think that women are jealous of her. She's not exactly stick-thin but is still a looker, and women hate that because then they can't blame men for only liking stick-women or her for being a skinny bitch.

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 3:06pm | #

Honestly, the women isn't hot. What's wrong with you people?

Fluffy | May 28, 2008, 3:07pm | #

Normally Malkin is above this sort of stuff

Wow, thanks, I really needed a laugh.

Rachel Ray is despised by all my female friends, and I really don't understand it.

She's ugly, dumpy, wears really unflattering outfits on her show, and cooks really, really horrible meals on her show - but despite all this, she's megasuccessful because "she's so high energy" and "audiences like her".

I easily know ten women who are better looking, better dressed, better cooks, and talk about food more entertainingly than Ray, and they don't have TV empires. They are naturally a little resentful.

At least with Martha Stewart you got the idea that she probably was an uber-craft-freak perfect hostess who knew about stuff you didn't know about. With Rachel Ray it's like your loser cousin got a show.

joe | May 28, 2008, 3:08pm | #

Incidentally, when did promoters decide that there's no such thing as over-exposure?

They keep doing this to teevee chefs. Everybody loved Martha Stewart, teevee chef. Everybody hated Martha Stewart, Mega-zillionaire celebrity.

Everyone loved Rachel Ray, teevee chef. Everyone hates Rachel Ray, media big shot. They make these ads that are about how the big shot came into the Dunkin Donuts. Stupid.

Anyway, doin' things is what I like to do.
Yes!!

Lamar | May 28, 2008, 3:08pm | #

"'The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad,' Malkin yowls in her syndicated column."

The reason Malkin doesn't know the difference between a man's keffiyeh and a girly scarf is because she never had to hide a hickey her entire goddam life.

joe | May 28, 2008, 3:09pm | #

Ain't nothing wrong with a little to grab onto.

Nothing at all.

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 3:10pm | #

Of course, my one moment of fleeting sympathy for her was when Bourdain said she was evil for promoting Dunkin' Donuts. 'Cause of the "obesity" "epidemic". I know he's popular around here, but he strikes me as quite an ass at times.

joe,

Emeril, who built and maintained an entire network, has been exiled to Fine Living. And he's now owned by--you guessed it, Martha Stewart!

dhex | May 28, 2008, 3:10pm | #

we should hold a bake sale to buy malkin and the little green football people rubber underpants.

OH NO A SCARF

fucking pussies. that includes you, solowackolo.

Reinmoose | May 28, 2008, 3:11pm | #

I easily know ten women who are better looking, better dressed, better cooks, and talk about food more entertainingly than Ray, and they don't have TV empires.

Fluffy -
Would you, by chance, want to introduce me to some of them ;) ;) ;)

Fluffy | May 28, 2008, 3:12pm | #

I also have a problem with the concept of "Palestinian jihad" being associated with this scarf. Can't Malkin write honestly for two seconds at a fucking time? Arafat was a terrorist, but he was not a jihadist. He was a secular nationalist. The keffiyeh is just as associated with secular Fatah as it is with jihadist Hamas.

MP | May 28, 2008, 3:16pm | #

Bourdain said she was evil for promoting Dunkin' Donuts. 'Cause of the "obesity" "epidemic". I know he's popular around here, but he strikes me as quite an ass at times.

Sometimes? His whole image is rooted in how big an asshole he is.

Naga Sadow | May 28, 2008, 3:17pm | #

Guy,

What's the deal with the welding capabilities of women? Not busting your balls or anything, just asking.

David | May 28, 2008, 3:17pm | #

She's ugly, dumpy, wears really unflattering outfits on her show, and cooks really, really horrible meals on her show - but despite all this, she's megasuccessful because "she's so high energy" and "audiences like her".

I'd say that her cooking show, at least, was successful because it catered to a different and much larger audience than foodies and amateur chefs. Her focus was on OK, broad appeal, meals that people could prepare quickly with ingredients that they'd probably have on hand. How she went from doing that to being everywhere is anyone's guess.

But this thread should be about the relative merits of Rachael Ray anyway. It should be about how the seeming inexhaustible search for traitors in our midst has Michelle Malkin flipping the fuck out over a scarf in a TV commercial.

dhex | May 28, 2008, 3:17pm | #

as noted, malkin is an idiot. but that's her living, pandering to idiots.

what i've noticed about ray - as both my wife and my friend's wife to be seem to irrationally hate her - is that many women seem to think "but she has a big ass" is some kind of strike against.

that's weird.

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 3:17pm | #

MP,

I was being civil. He's an incredible asshole.

Episiarch | May 28, 2008, 3:17pm | #

Honestly, the women (sic) isn't hot. What's wrong with you people?

This cannot be stressed enough. I have repeatedly expressed horror at the tastes in women I've seen here and any love for Rachael "Joker-grin/fat ass/meth spaz/shrieking harpy/over-exposed" Ray is insane. Paint her up right and you'd have a hard time distinguishing between her and Jack Nicholson.

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 3:20pm | #

Don't sic me--I'm traumatized by all of the strange Rachel love around here ☺

I've disliked her since the odd $40/day thingee. That never made sense to me. I could do a show called Two Bucks a Day, which would emphasize Ramen noodles, rice, and spaghetti.

Fluffy | May 28, 2008, 3:22pm | #

is that many women seem to think "but she has a big ass" is some kind of strike against.

Well, the point I was indirectly trying to get at is that sometimes people are MORE angry at "Average person made good" than they are at "Superhuman person made good".

If Rachel Ray has a show with her fat ass [they may be thinking] than we should have shows with our fat asses.

"Nobody with a bigger ass than me should have a show until I get my show" seems like a pretty straightforward thing for a woman to think to me.

dhex | May 28, 2008, 3:23pm | #

I WILL FIGHT ALL OF YOU

disclosure: i grew up in new jersey, so a nasally, marlboro-light stricken voice and overly emotional italian american mama mia routine is basically crack butter.

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 3:23pm | #

I want someone who cooks better than me to host a cooking show.

Ali | May 28, 2008, 3:25pm | #

Someone at HuffPost said this:

AMERICA CUTS AND RUNS ON DUNKIN!!

Naga Sadow | May 28, 2008, 3:29pm | #

Relax, dhex. Put the keyboard down . . . slowly.

Warren | May 28, 2008, 3:30pm | #

coming in late.
I have to say, Rachel is perky hot - perky tits, perky personality. Plus she's banking food=sex bonus points.

Still, there's a limit to how much perky you can take. It's like sugar. Too much of it and you become diabetic, then it's poison.

I OD'd on RR over two years ago.

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 3:32pm | #

NS,

I find welding women to be hot. Would like to date one so she can teach me and we can weld stuff together, like fixing stuff on my Charger and whatever muscle car or truck she drives.

Oh yea, chicks who own trucks! Another hotness trait I like.

As for the Bourdain portion of this thread, after Flay and Batali have been beaten unconcious with each other, toss Bourdain on top of the pile and torch until dust.

Ravac | May 28, 2008, 3:33pm | #

Someone mentioned Nigella Lawson upthread. Can we please talk about her instead? RR is a talentless harpy who apparently, according to a friend of a friend who works for Food Network, also a super bitch.

And Bourdain is definitely an ass. That's why he's so friggin' great.

Mark Borok | May 28, 2008, 3:33pm | #

There has actually been a fashion trend of scarves inspired by the Keffiyeh (google "Keffiyeh" and "fashion"). This may or may not be an example of such a scarf. Malkin is still a shrill harpy regardless.

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 3:34pm | #

In fairness, since some actual quotes have appeared here, it does not sound like Ms. Malkin was actually shrill at all, in this case.

John | May 28, 2008, 3:34pm | #

Pro,

Nigela is the greatest thing ever to come from the British Isles. Those boobs are a force of nature.

Yes, Rachel does have a big ass, but that is her best feature. She is not a bad cook. Some of her recipes are quite good.

Episiarch | May 28, 2008, 3:36pm | #

Women who host cooking shows should either be great cooks who drink a lot (Julia Child) or hot and can still cook well (DeLaurentis).

Rachael Ray fails on all counts. Go to Totowa or Paramus and get your fix there, dhex. Leave the food airwaves alone.

Naga Sadow | May 28, 2008, 3:36pm | #

Huh . . . okay I see your point. Similiar to my own love of tennis playing women. Only trouble is most tennis playing women have incredible bodies but ugly faces. Not that ugliness has ever stopped me or anything.

John | May 28, 2008, 3:38pm | #

This is from the wikipedia article on Nigela Lawson.

"In her newspaper articles she has shown a liberal attitude to sexuality ("most [women] simply have, somewhere, a fantasy about having sex, in a non-defining, non-exclusive way, with other women").[81] She has said that she loves watching football and is a supporter of Chelsea football club.[82]"

I have no idea how that relates to this post, but wow.

Naga Sadow | May 28, 2008, 3:41pm | #

I think Rachel Ray is hot. Not because she is hot, but her similarity to a porn star called Eva Angelina, who I would be pretending Rachel Ray is. Sometimes lies make relationships work.

Ravac | May 28, 2008, 3:45pm | #

Episiarch,

I used to like watching the show with DeLaurentis because she was hot. Until my wife pointed out that she's a bobble-head: gigantic head on a tiny body.

Now that's all I can see. :(

Crazyness | May 28, 2008, 3:45pm | #

I wanna motorboat that shit so bad.

dhex | May 28, 2008, 3:46pm | #

Go to Totowa or Paramus and get your fix there, dhex. Leave the food airwaves alone.

first off, totowa is totally lame.

second off, i don't work for food tv. i just bask in its glory.

Boston | May 28, 2008, 3:48pm | #

Ray was a lot skinnier and hotter in my opinion before she got rocked.* See pictorial in Maxim.

*that's my expression for given an engagement ring. Feel free to use it or think i am lame.

Reinmoose | May 28, 2008, 3:51pm | #

Giada De Laurentiis and Nigela Lawson definitely beat out Rachael Ray on all cooking and hotness accounts, but that doesn't mean that Ray doesn't have her own qualities.

Ravac -
I agree that she's a bit of a bobblehead, but something about the first time I saw her rub rosemary oil into a turkey just overrode that small flaw.

David (not that one) | May 28, 2008, 3:54pm | #

I never noticed Giada DeLaurentis being a bobblehead, but I did notice that she has like 5000 teeth in her mouth, and she shows them all every time she opens her mouth. Scary stuff.

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 3:56pm | #

When is one of those IDF commando chicks going to get a cooking show? Now that would be H O T!

Mike Laursen | May 28, 2008, 3:56pm | #

I wouldn't kick Michelle Malkin out of bed, though...so long as she kept her yap shut.

Yeah, but she wouldn't.

Mike Laursen | May 28, 2008, 3:59pm | #

So, what, should I throw my kaffiyeh away now? Can't I wear cultural/traditional item of clothing anymore just because Arafat wore one?

I think you're in the clear, considering that George W. Bush has had his picture taken hugging Saudi leaders who are wearing kaffiyehs.

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 4:01pm | #

Yeah, but she wouldn't.

Isn't that the problem with so many hotties? Nature and all of her tricks. It seems so unfair sometimes . . .

Episiarch | May 28, 2008, 4:01pm | #

first off, totowa is totally lame.

Exactly. Perfect place to troll for bored Italian-American skanks. I know, I've done it.

brotherben | May 28, 2008, 4:05pm | #

Giada has a mouth?

and teeth?

Jim Bob | May 28, 2008, 4:06pm | #

David,

Careful. Somebody around here goes apeshit if you make a joke about the number of teeth somebody appears to show when they smile (and yes: Giada, while unbelievably smoking hot, does have over 9000 teeth).

Guy Montag | May 28, 2008, 4:07pm | #

Exactly. Perfect place to troll for bored Italian-American skanks.

Are they the slender ones with tight jeans and heels or the big fatties in flipflops?

Jim Bob | May 28, 2008, 4:07pm | #

brotherben,

Dear God, man! They're sucking you in!

David (not that one) | May 28, 2008, 4:14pm | #

Jim Bob,

I only counted 5000 teeth, but I may have been distracted by her otherwise rather attractive body.

R C Dean | May 28, 2008, 4:22pm | #

Full disclosure: I grind my Starbucks beans fresh every morning and prepare with nuked tap water in a coffee press.

You don't even roast your own beans? Philistine.

Seriously, they have home roasters now. Coffee made from beans you just roasted is to any other coffee as your favorite microbrew is to Bud Lite.

dhex | May 28, 2008, 4:27pm | #

Exactly. Perfect place to troll for bored Italian-American skanks. I know, I've done it.

aaahhh, surfin' for herpes on route 46?

Episiarch | May 28, 2008, 4:30pm | #

aaahhh, surfin' for herpes on route 46?

How else does one get to Willowbrook?

dhex | May 28, 2008, 4:30pm | #

with the power of imagination?

joe | May 28, 2008, 4:38pm | #

Guy Montag can't weld?

It's really not that hard to pick up.

Now, welding well - that' a bit harder.

joe "Butch the Butcher" boyle

Fluffy | May 28, 2008, 4:44pm | #

Whoa,

RC Dean just gave me one of those "early pages of Fight Club" moments where you're jealous of the guy who roasts his own beans, because you merely grind your own beans.

Must...resist...temptation...to...roast...own...beans.

Grinding...Green Mountain Coffee French roast beans...is...good...enough.

Fluffy | May 28, 2008, 4:45pm | #

Or maybe it's more of an American Psycho moment.

Nah, I don't want to use a nail gun on anyone, so I'll stick with the Pahlaniuk.

thoreau | May 28, 2008, 4:47pm | #

What the fuck? Seriously--what the fuck?

Goddamn. Some people are insane.

Anyway, time to show my dhimmitude by eating baklava.

Isaac Bartram | May 28, 2008, 4:48pm | #

Now, welding well - that' a bit harder.

Yes, there's a big difference between melting rods and actual welding. :)

I can do the former (well if I don't short the whole thing out and stick the rod to the work, that is).

Pro Libertate | May 28, 2008, 4:56pm | #

Fluffy,

I grow my own beans and have them picked by my personal servant, Juan Valdez.

New World Dan | May 28, 2008, 4:59pm | #

The reason Malkin doesn't know the difference between a man's keffiyeh and a girly scarf is because she never had to hide a hickey her entire goddam life.

An oversight I intend to remedy. Also, URKOBOLD™ needs to teach that woman to troll like a pro. Lastly, I came here to repeat what Pro Literate said at 1:05.

Urkobold™ | May 28, 2008, 5:14pm | #

FOOLS! WHILE THE URKOBOLD ACKNOWLEDGES THE AMAZING, INHUMAN BOUNCINESS OF NIGELLA LAWSON, AND THE ACCEPTABLE PERKY BOSOMINESS OF YOUNG GIADA DE LAURENTIIS, THE REST OF THE WOMEN MENTIONED HERE ARE UNACCEPTABLE. THE URKOBOLD HEREBY CONDEMNS AND REPUDIATES THIS THREAD.

MMMM, NIGELLA.

Happy Jack | May 28, 2008, 5:15pm | #

Anyway, time to show my dhimmitude by eating baklava.

Greeks eat that stuff. A real Islamofascist eats ma'amoul.

Orange Line Special | May 28, 2008, 5:31pm | #

Forgive me, Reasonoids, I just realized I'm a poster child for cognitive dissonance. I read MichelleMalkin and LittleGreenFootballs while at the same time warning about the evils of BohemianGrove and having 9/11Truther sympathies.

Orange Line Special | May 28, 2008, 5:33pm | #

And I'm a still a virgin. That's the beaners' fault, too.

Dogzilla | May 28, 2008, 5:58pm | #

Sorry to go back on topic, but wouldn't having our western bimbos wearing their little girlie terrorist scarves be the best way to foil their fashion identity?
When white suburban kids started dressing and talking "gangsta", it just became silly.

Urkobold™ | May 28, 2008, 6:01pm | #

WHAT IS NIGELLA GOING TO TERRORIZE ME WITH, HER HUGE, GRAVITY-DEFYING BOSOM?

[PAUSE]

THE URKOBOLD MUST VISIT HIS BUNK.

Stevo Darkly | May 28, 2008, 6:17pm | #

sun-caught perch ... sun-caught perch

The repeated use of this phrase makes me wonder if moon-caught perch don't taste as good. Anyone know?

If the Unstoppable Rachel Ray were to collide with the Immovable Tyra Banks, what would happen?

I would arrange to be in-between them.

Because the Unstoppable and the Immovable are also the Totally Spankable.

Ben Rushing | May 28, 2008, 7:18pm | #

Who Cares, Rachel Ray is Hott. And she looks good with that scarf on! She is the right kind of white person.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/04/30/97-scarves/

Neu Mejican | May 28, 2008, 7:32pm | #

Without reading a single comment above, I would like to say that I am quite surprised that there are 144 things to be said on this topic.

Colonel_Angus | May 28, 2008, 7:33pm | #

i hates racheal ray from de foods network...wish her tits would falls off.

http://b.imagehost.org/view/0107/ray.jpg

Thomas Paine's Goiter | May 28, 2008, 7:38pm | #

Keffiyehs are evil! We must wipe the french foreign legion and TE Lawrence off of the face of the earth! NOW!

Mr. Chartreuse | May 28, 2008, 8:30pm | #

Very late in the thread, but Rachael Ray is hot, brunette with big brown eyes and a great ass.

Malkin is an idiot for this and other things....but hot.

Jim Walsh | May 28, 2008, 8:44pm | #

Stupid? Hell - this is off-the-radar stupid. If Malkin is really that desperate for things to talk about, I think a change of career is in order...

Harpua | May 28, 2008, 10:52pm | #

What I find funny about this is Malkin praised DD for doing something equally dumb about 6 months ago. Can't remember what it was, but the idea of Malkin eating a donut is laughable.

The disturbing part about this is that we're supposedly in a war against people who hate our way of life. Part of our way of life is tolerance and freedom of expression. I can't imagine RR is making a political statement. She probably wouldn't even know what that means. But if she were, that's part of what makes this country great. We do suffer fools. Just like we suffer Malkin.

The sex appeal of RR is obvious. She's not the hottest women on TV, but you can actually imagine having sex with her. Malkin, Giada and Nigella are all very hot, but I just can't picture them having sex at all. And if they did, they'd probably find something to complain about.

gmatts | May 29, 2008, 12:35am | #

This is from Malkin's article on the choice of neckwear that Rachel Ray wore for a commerical that has Western Civ tetering on the brink of collapse:

"And the company’s management has taken a brave and lonely stand in support of immigration enforcement — refusing to hire illegal aliens and blowing the whistle on applicants with bogus Social Security numbers."

I'd be willing to bet that it still takes every ounce of restraint in Malkin's body NOT to ask for SS#'s and documentation of Dunkin' Donuts workers when she's in there.

Wait till Malkin realizes that as a choice for what their sandwiches are sold on at DD you can choose a croissant. I see a "Freedom Pastrie" column in our future.

Brian Courts | May 29, 2008, 1:53am | #

The real mystery here is what is she doing in front of the Oregon State Capitol? Not that it matters, but Salem is not exactly a typical location for ad shoots. Of course I didn't RTFA and I haven't watched her show so maybe there's an obvious answer.

Joe S. | May 29, 2008, 7:18am | #

No flag pin either? Burn the witch!

Sean Healy | May 29, 2008, 7:53am | #

I know you guys are all so above it all, but maybe you don't know that the keffiyeh has been adopted by non-Arabs across Europe as a symbol of solidarity with 'resistance' movements in the Middle East. Remember 'we are all Hizbullah now'? So it's not totally hysterical for Malkin to object to one in Dunkin' Donuts ad, if for no other reason than to bring attention to perhaps an unwitting association that I'm sure the chain would prefer to disown.

Jim Bob | May 29, 2008, 9:23am | #

Except that there's not one in the Dunkin' Donuts ad. Maybe Malkin could protest something that, I don't know, doesn't exist only in her and other paranoid nutters' delusional minds.

joe | May 29, 2008, 10:53am | #

Sort of reminds me of this:


Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
Them Communists they wus comin' around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the ground.
They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .

So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin' down the road.
Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now!
Look out you Commies!

Now we all agree with Hitlers' views,
Although he killed six million Jews.
It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist,
At least you can't say he was a Communist!
That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.

Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.
I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn't find 'em . . .

I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .

Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag!
That ol' Betty Ross . . .

Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that I knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
The other two percent are fellow Birchers . . . just like me.

Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there's just one man
That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.

Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
Hope I don't find out anything . . . hmm, great God!

dhex | May 29, 2008, 12:29pm | #

So it's not totally hysterical for Malkin to object to one in Dunkin' Donuts ad, if for no other reason than to bring attention to perhaps an unwitting association that I'm sure the chain would prefer to disown.

and if it actually looked like a keffiyeh, you might have a point. and she might have a point, rather than being a bedwetting crazyperson shopping at the crazystore for crazypants to fit her crazylife.

Underzog | May 30, 2008, 7:13am | #

Kudos to Michelle Malkin (Pamela Geller first spotted it)!

It's good that Dunkin Donuts took down this symbol of terrorism. I know Reason Online Magazine loves Muslim terrorists and Libertarians hate the Jewish State (Israel) more than any other country, so Reason's response to Dunkin Donuts' moral and sensitive decision is hardly suprising.

As with the hit and run comments about anti-Semite Albert Knock; e.g. praising his adorable andti-Semitism, you chaps at Reason online love to make the Jews scream. Well, you can scream, too -- and the perps can make you scream for more justified and moral reasons then you Ernst Rhoem wannabes use against the Jews.

I want to sit back and enjoy this.

Zeb | May 30, 2008, 10:31am | #

It looks bad with that shirt anyway.

Art-P.O.G. | May 30, 2008, 11:37am | #

Rachael Ray is a fantastic-looking woman.

Judi Hartwell | May 31, 2008, 4:11pm | #

I find myself wondering if they are going to bew checking our underwear to see if the color and pattern they have are poltically correct!

Just make sure you listen to your mom..."ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN DRAWERS, Ya never know..."

So I decided to check my wardrobe for POLITICAL CORRECTNESS...so far I have been forced to discard 12 jackets, 11 scarves, 10 pairs of pants, 9 pairs of shoes, 8 pairs of capris, 7 bras, 6 pairs of panties (ya never know...) 5 blouses, 4 hats, 3 pairs of socks,2 headbands and a PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!

Maybe we should consider wearing CELLOPHANE! Is that a color?

Judi Hartwell | May 31, 2008, 4:36pm | #

By the way, don't we have more important things to think about like say for instance, what restaurant are we going to tonight...or what's playing at the Cinema?

If you wear black anbd white, you represent terrorist...blue, it's the Cripps gang, red, the Bloods...

I was going to wear rainbow colors...but would that mean I represent homosexuality?

Obviously, I need some FASHION ADVICE! Maybe the NUDISTS have had it right all along.

Wait a sec...that might be a color too.

Someone HELP ME, I have NOTHING TO WEAR!

Geesh...GIMME A BREAK!

Judi Hartwell | May 31, 2008, 4:49pm | #

While I am on a roll and the subject...speaking of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS...

Not sure where this came from but I wanted to SHARE it:

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional,
illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream
media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible
to pick up a turd by the clean end."

'Nuff said.