Something To Be Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving! According to a new study, you and your family are increasingly less likely to have cancer, and less likely to die of it, too:

Cancer diagnosis rates decreased by an average of 0.8 percent each year from 1999 to 2005, the last year for which data are available, according to an annual report by the National Cancer Institute, the American Cancer Society and other scientific organizations.

Death rates from cancer continued to decline as well, a trend that began some 15 years ago, the report also noted. It was published online in The Journal of the National Cancer Institute.

For all those who live in fear of GM foods, plastic water bottles, aspartame, food miles, and cellphones—relax, have a nice dinner, and call your Great Aunt Freida. Statistically speaking, you'll live.

In related news, the always-valuable American Council on Science and Health reminds us that all the components of a delicious Thanksgiving dinner are safe to eat, even if they cause cancer in the occasional lab rat.

And the always-entertaining John Tierney gives us a list of 10 things not to worry about over the summer. Revisit the list, and enjoy not worrying again this holiday season.

Comments

Dello | November 26, 2008, 6:53pm | #

Maybe they could use all the discarded plastic bags to cover the polar ice caps and keep them from melting...

Brian Sorgatz | November 26, 2008, 7:13pm | #

The bikini tan lines on the turkey are offensive. They send the message that a roast turkey is just a piece of meat.

kusterdu | November 26, 2008, 7:19pm | #

So is the turkey naked now, or what?

SIV | November 26, 2008, 7:37pm | #

"Less likely to have cancer" is not the same thing as a "decrease in cancer diagnosis rates".

Death rates from cancer continued to decline as well

Correlation is not causation disclaimer but:

I do wonder if some percentage of deaths attributed to cancer are iatrogenic.

David E. Gallaher | November 26, 2008, 7:39pm | #

If the turkey is naked, shouldn't there be a tuft of feathers, at the very least, "down there"?
They wouldn't necessarily need to match to wattle or anything.

kusterdu | November 26, 2008, 7:41pm | #

It could be shaved.

It's in everything you eat. | November 26, 2008, 7:47pm | #

The bikini tan lines

are an optical illusion.

That's a turkey bust of Flavor Flav.

Someone stole the timer out of its chooch.

Just Plain Brian | November 26, 2008, 7:49pm | #

If the turkey is naked, shouldn't there be a tuft of feathers, at the very least, "down there"?
They wouldn't necessarily need to match to wattle or anything.

Not when it's a Brazilian turkey

David E. Gallaher | November 26, 2008, 8:02pm | #

Razors will be banned in the new Obama era!
Even in Brazil!

It will be the Great Feather Awakening!

sidereal | November 26, 2008, 8:12pm | #

Statistically speaking, you'll live.

Heh. Statistically speaking, no you won't.
Which is all the more reason to have a nice dinner. You're dying anyway.

Jack Beaner | November 26, 2008, 8:21pm | #

Wow dude that is good news and certainly something to be thankful for.

jess
http://www.anonymity.cz.tc

@spammer | November 26, 2008, 8:28pm | #

Feeling a little less thankful already.

alfonso jativa | November 26, 2008, 10:03pm | #

NI EL LEON, NI EL PADRE ETERNO …, son tan fieros o buenos como lo pintan…, o lo publican!.

… Y si Ud. (por vividas experiencias),
prefiere creer que el Padre es perfecto
…, o por miedo a que sea un León invencible
…, y obedientemente y mudo camina de
“Aquí a la eternidad”, temeroso y sumiso

…, o bajo el eslogan religioso de que es muy bueno,
sabio y amoroso no le discute…, allá Ud.
…, que yo no estoy de acuerdo!.

… Para mi el Padre es “una vaina”
y un “Dictadorzuelo” equivocado y errante
…, como San Pedro,
(que ni el agua, ni la madre pudieron con ellos!).

… Que tanto, padre y maestro es el padre como el hijo, ya que ambos se alimentan del Espíritu Santo
…, y yo al mío, pienso enseñarle muchas cosas (maravillosas)…, mas si las rechaza
y elige el camino duro del infierno
…, no me quedara otro remedio!.

… Pues esto son cosas íntimas y personales
entre padres e hijos…, donde nadie debe meterse
…, ya que hay toda clase de padres y de hijos
y difícilmente existe la paz entre ellos!.
… Si ambos son valientes y honestos!.
Alfonso Játiva Gómez

William S. Burroughs | November 27, 2008, 12:57am | #

For John Dillinger
In hope he is still alive
Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 1986

Thanks for the wild turkey and the Passenger Pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts

thanks for a Continent to despoil and poison —

thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger —

thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin, leaving the carcass to rot —

thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes —

thanks for the AMERICAN DREAM to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through —

thanks for the KKK, for nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches, for decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces —

thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers —

thanks for laboratory AIDS —

thanks for Prohibition and the War Against Drugs —

thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business —

thanks for a nation of finks — yes, thanks for all the memories... all right, let's see your arms... you always were a headache and you always were a bore —

thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

Bingo | November 27, 2008, 1:45am | #

I'm thankful for the pantsless snorg tees girl for she will be my wife some day!

Crow Eating Dumbass | November 27, 2008, 11:02am | #

There is a great deal to be thankful for. I live in a nation of amazing freedom, safety and prosperity compared to other cultures over space and time.

And then there are the little things that our market democratic society gives us (I may not think either is magic, but they are both wonderful things).

I enjoy comic books for example. Can you imagine comic books ever coming to exist and the awful quality they would be under a authoritarian non-market society? Multiply that times about a few hundred things that delight us every week or day and there is a great deal to be thankful for.

alfonso jativa | December 1, 2008, 7:54pm | #

SER UN MEJOR SUJETO NO ES FACIL! .., ni feliz mejorar el rumbo!..., hacia mejores destinos…, ajustando la conducta y bajando la perversión y el delito e incrementando la honestidad, la justicia y la virtud.

… Pues para ello hay primero que comenzar a expiar
el pasado (que si es muy turbio) requiero insoportables dosis de dolor, angustia y adversidad!.

… Ya que los “controles de calidad” se activan, dado que cada mejor rumbo (que depende de la praxis) exige mejores promedios y programas existenciales!.

… Mas sino enderezamos el hoy…, el mañana es tenebroso…, pues esta “Sociedad de Consumo” materialista…, donde “Dios” es el dinero y la ganancia …, nos esta conduciendo a terribles muertes, vergüenzas y tenebrosas condiciones!.

… Hermanos…, el pasado se impone (sin posibilidad de divorcio)…, no hay confesión (de pecados) ni perdón que valga…, y hay que expiarlos…, a lo macho!.

… Animo amigos…, seamos prudentes y sensatos
y actuemos como nos dice la vieja canción
(de Angélica María),

“paso a pasito…, llegaré a donde existe la ilusión
…, que ser “un mejor sujeto no es facil”…, ni rápido!.
Alfonso Játiva Gómez