Reason Magazine

Site Search

After Tackling Subprime Loans, Bin Laden's Band Now Takes on Pakistani Prez

In what is surely the least anticipated audio release since the late Pope John Paul II's Gregorian rap LP Abba Pater, Osama Bin Laden's "deputy," Ayman al-Zawahri, has a new tape that's about to pollute the airwaves.

In his last single, Bin Laden channeled Ditech and Ronald Reagan, declaiming both high interest rates and high taxes, making common cause with all of us groaning "under the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages." Islam, he averred, was not just attractive because it alone fulfills the will of Allah, but because it's easy on the wallet: ""There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."

Now, in a "sophisticated 80-minute video," the Professor Griff of al Qaeda is going after a different target:

Al-Zawahri began by condemning the Pakistani military's July assault on Islamic militants who took over the Red Mosque in Islamabad, and he paid tribute to one of the militants' leaders, Abdul Rashid Ghazi, who was killed in the fighting.

The siege "revealed the extent of the despicableness, lowliness and treason of Musharraf and his forces, who don't deserve the honor of defending Pakistan, because Pakistan is a Muslim land, whereas the forces of Musharraf are hunting dogs under (President) Bush's crucifix," al-Zawahri said.

"Let the Pakistani army know that the killing of Abdul Rashid Ghazi and his male and female students ... has soaked the history of the Pakistan army in shame and despicableness which can only washed away by retaliation," he said.

More here.

Whether this will help or hurt Musharraf is anyone's guess, though the guy is barely hanging on as it is.

Help Reason celebrate its next 40 years. Donate Now!
Send this article to:

« New at Reason | Main | A Surge of Paleoconservatives »

Comments to "After Tackling Subprime Loans, Bin Laden's Band Now Takes on Pakistani Prez":

The Artist Formerly Known as Travis | September 20, 2007, 7:58am | #

"Whether this will help or hurt Musharraf is anyone's guess, though the guy is barely hanging on as it is."

Musharraf is gonna be cookies.

Cracker's Boy | September 20, 2007, 8:10am | #

If by "cookies", you mean the target of that peace-loving group of religious fanatic (potential redundency there) Muslims (confirmed redundency there).

CB

Taktix® | September 20, 2007, 8:16am | #

What's next? OBL advocating the "Just Say No!" campaign?

edna | September 20, 2007, 8:23am | #

soaked the history of the Pakistan army in shame and despicableness which can only washed away by retaliation

that's a fabulous line, it really is. the poetry of homicide.

Mike Laursen | September 20, 2007, 8:31am | #

Seems to me that by commenting on Pakistan's government rather than subprime lending, al Qaeda is getting back to staying on point.

Elemenope | September 20, 2007, 8:44am | #

Yeah, OBL and Nancy can do video PSAs together; it'll be like a time-warp to the '80s.

george | September 20, 2007, 9:51am | #

Earn daily 100 usd it is not joke
For more details please visit http://www.rreklam.com

de stijl | September 20, 2007, 9:55am | #

Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?

If Al-Zawahri is the Professor Griff of AQ, does that make the footsoldier terrorist operatives the S2Ws or the 9-8 posse?

Episiarch | September 20, 2007, 10:02am | #

Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?

Whichever one of them wears a huge Islamic crescent around his neck at all times. Duh.

Flav-al-Flav | September 20, 2007, 10:05am | #

Yeee-aaahhh! Allah Akbar, booyyyeeeeee!

de stijl | September 20, 2007, 10:05am | #

Whichever one of them wears a huge Islamic crescent around his neck at all times. Duh.

I knew Ali G was a sleeper agent!

joe | September 20, 2007, 10:12am | #

Al Qaeda's latest stuff is a total sellout.

Their first few releases were really good.

I don't think you've heard any of them.

Episiarch | September 20, 2007, 10:22am | #

I knew Ali G was a sleeper agent!

Ain't dat a bit racialist? Is it 'cos I is black? Respek.

de stijl | September 20, 2007, 10:26am | #

Al-Z is fightin' the power. Power to the people no delay.

thoreau | September 20, 2007, 10:29am | #

If Osama Bin Laden wants to tackle companies that push your refrigerator delivery back by 5 days and don't tell you until the last minute, I might be receptive.

I declare Home Depot to be an abomination in the eyes of Allah.

joe | September 20, 2007, 10:41am | #

"...and the gutters that come off the house only one year after they were installed, we do not have in Islam.

Nor does Islam accept the cheap shoelaces with the the plastic bit that comes off, so you can't put them back through the little hole. This is an abomination in the eyes of the Prophet (PBUH).

Also, the people who order six sandwiches at the Dunkin Donuts drivethrough at 8:51 AM - the infidels suffer them to live in their homes, but they are not to found in Dar-al-Islam..."

VM | September 20, 2007, 10:43am | #

OBL?

Jennifer | September 20, 2007, 10:48am | #

You won't find high fructose corn syrup praised in the Koran.

ChrisO | September 20, 2007, 10:55am | #

Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?

Adam Gadahn? He'd be my guess.

I love this bit: "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."

Yeah, unless you're a conquered infidel, in which case we tax the fuck out of you.

gaijin | September 20, 2007, 11:39am | #

Yeah, unless you're a conquered infidel, in which case we tax the fuck out of you

A death tax?

VM | September 20, 2007, 11:51am | #

sounds more like a sex tax...

(you know, you need tacks to keep it up. Thank you. I'll be hier all week. Tip the fish. Try the waitress)

joe | September 20, 2007, 12:24pm | #

I would tax Raquel Welch.

(And I have a feeling she'd tax me.)

VM | September 20, 2007, 12:40pm | #

talk about bum cakes! that girl got 'em!

jkp | September 20, 2007, 12:48pm | #

Just so long as they don't tax....thingy.

ChrisO | September 20, 2007, 12:49pm | #

A death tax?

No, it's an "infidel tax" called the jizyah (or some such transliteration).

BakedPenguin | September 20, 2007, 1:23pm | #

Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?

I can't answer that, but given his pontifications, I'd say OBL is the Chuck D of Al Qaeda. Richard Reid is their Vanilla Ice.

BakedPenguin | September 20, 2007, 1:26pm | #

Oops. I guess the first part of my post was implied up in David's thread.

VM | September 20, 2007, 1:45pm | #

hier is a pic of OBL and his Al Qaeda twaddlenocks.

It's not about Chuck D, Vanilla Ice, etc., it's about Boss Clown, Le Clown Gordoon, TJ Tatters, Bucky and Gigi, Bozo, and Lorenzo Pickle.

BakedPenguin | September 20, 2007, 2:11pm | #

VM - how is Vanilla Ice not included with the group you mentioned?

Also, you forgot Shakes.

VM | September 20, 2007, 2:37pm | #

Good call, Baked. Good call.

Shakes and Vanilla are there!

de stijl (aka Binky the Clown) | September 20, 2007, 2:55pm | #

You didn't see nothing old man. We're just five happy party clowns, sitting down to a plate of beef. White... powdery... beef.