New at Reason

Scott Stantis is getting dressed for the ceremony that'll make him the White House Cartoon Czar.

Comments

Your Good Buddy Johnny Clarke | May 18, 2007, 8:39am | #

Am I the only person who is extremely irritated by the use of the title "czar" for American officials?

thoreau | May 18, 2007, 8:58am | #

Yeah, let's drop the whole "czar" thing, and give out titles that more accurately reflect the religious, nationalist, and socialist aspects of this administration: Grand Ayatollah, Fuhrer, and Comrade General Secretary.

The Drug Czar can be renamed "Grand Ayatollah for Mental Hygiene." The "War Czar" can be renamed "Comrade General Secretary for Imperial Affairs." And Cheney can be called "Fuhrer."

Yeah, so I invoked Godwin, but we are talking about totalitarian titles like "czar."

Warren | May 18, 2007, 8:59am | #

Not at all JC,
See heer;
http://www.reason.com/blog/show/120111.html

Warren | May 18, 2007, 9:02am | #

throeau,
I like it. Let's see now... Who is the terrorism pope again?

Randolph Carter | May 18, 2007, 9:19am | #

Don't forget to rename the head of Faith-based Initiatives Mahatma

Warren | May 18, 2007, 9:35am | #

Randolph
Would that make him the Madrasah Mahatma? The Great Soul of future fanatics.

BakedPenguin | May 18, 2007, 10:16am | #

The Attorney General could become the Sultan of SWAT.

tarran | May 18, 2007, 10:22am | #

What's funny is that we already have a war czar.

There once was a cabinet office called "The Secretary of War". The officer was in charge of something the call "The War Department".

But the Secretary of War did not have control over the U.S. Navy. So, after World War II, they decided to create a new "war czar" who would be in charge of all the war-fighting capabilities of the Federal Government. They created a new cabinet level office called "The Secretary of Defense" and renamed the "Secretary of War" the "Secretary of the Army" and placed him under the command of the new Secretary of Defense.

It's like watching Hayek's Road to Serfdom play out in slow-motion.

Randolph Carter | May 18, 2007, 10:25am | #

And if they appointed that guy from the muppets he could be the Madrasah Mahatma Manamanah

Warren | May 18, 2007, 11:08am | #

That muppet is like crazy man. He'd be Meshugener Madrasah Mahatma Manamanah

Pro Libertate | May 18, 2007, 11:20am | #

You people. Always thinking small. I say we rename the Cabinet. Rather than calling them secretaries of this or that, or ministers for that matter, we deem them gods. Since the U.S. has a classical motif with much of its government, I suggest a new collective title for the Cabinet--The Olympians.

D.C. then gets renamed, Mount Olympus. Here are the twelve Olympians; all other cabinet positions can be filled by other gods:

President - Zeus
Vice President - Hera
Attorney General - Athena
Secretary of State - Hermes
Secretary of Defense - Ares
Secretary of Labor - Hephaestus
Secretary of Commerce - Aphrodite
Secretary of the Interior - Hestia
Secretary of Agriculture - Demeter
Secretary of Health and Human Services - Apollo
Secretary of Homeland Security - Poseidon
Secretary of the Treasury - Artemis

Randolph Carter | May 18, 2007, 11:28am | #

Perhaps replace some of the high-falutin' names with these from the Russian Federation:
Meritorious Agronomist of Russian Federation
Meritorious Drainage Engineer of Russian Federation
Meritorious Master of Production Training of Russian Federation

and my personal favorite
Meritorious Rationalizer of Russian Federation

Pro Libertate | May 18, 2007, 11:36am | #

The Drug Czar is Heracles, of course. Or Hercules, if you prefer. Keeps that czar/tsar flavor.

Randolph Carter | May 18, 2007, 12:04pm | #

jeez, the Drug Czar would clearly be Dionysus. Or Bacchus. Then we could have all-women no-knock raids and call them Bacchanalia!

Stevo darkly | May 18, 2007, 4:19pm | #

Am I the only person who is extremely irritated by the use of the title "czar" for American officials?

I was going to say, "It's tsarting to wear on me too" but you guys are already way ahead of me.

My own suggestion was to replace the title of "Secretary" with "Witch Doctor."

And that reminds me of something tangentially related. Once, several years ago, some state legislator (I forget who, and I forget which state) introduced a bill that would require anyone testifying before a court as an "expert witness" to wear a cloak and pointed hat adorned with stars and moons. And every sentenced uttered in testimony would have to be punctuated with the striking of a gong.

For realz. It was reported in the "Terra Incognita" page of Liberty magazine.

I would like to see a similar uniform requirement applied "czars," or whatever.

Pro Libertate | May 18, 2007, 4:39pm | #

Philosopher kings?

Your Good Buddy Johnny Clarke | May 18, 2007, 4:51pm | #

Well, Pro, they seem to have the "king" thing down, now all we have to do is get them some edjumication.

And thanks for the link, Warren, I missed that one.

Pro Libertate | May 18, 2007, 5:31pm | #

"Hi! I'm the new Philosopher King of Drugs." Or maybe that should be Lizard King?

I understand there's a new Philosopher King of War.

Karen | May 18, 2007, 11:09pm | #

My father is a Mason, and they have some amazing titles, like "Illustrious Warden of the East" and "Keeper of the Splendid Key" and such. We could simply adopt Masonic titles for these positions, so that the War Czar or the becomes "Illustrious Warden of the Sublime Mesopotamian Porte" and the inevitable Czar Czar (who abosolutely must have the surmname "Banks." Czar Czar Banks. Get it? Okay, I'll be typing the rest of this entry from under my desk, where the rotten fruit can't hit me.) can be "Splendid Keeper of the Shining Keys."

Landa | May 19, 2007, 10:52am | #

But if Czar Czar Banks is the Keymaster, who will be the Gatekeeper?