We're Not in Kansas Anymore
Jeff Taylor | July 27, 2005, 10:38am
What do we think of the Nebraska AG who arrests a man for having sex with his wife? What if he is 22 and she is 14? What if he got her pregnant at 13 and, with her parents' consent, took her to Kansas for a legal marriage in that state?
Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning says he doesn't care about the law in Kansas, and that Matthew Koso, 22, is a pedophile.
James Anderson Merritt | July 27, 2005, 1:06pm | #
I am reminded of the Mary Kay LeTourneau case. She did a kid (or the kid did her, no difference under law), was excoriated in the press and court of popular opinion, and did jail time after going to real court. This, despite the fact that she and the kid had their own kid.
Years later, she is out of jail. She and the kid (now a young man) are married, raising their offspring together. Their lives were twisted inside out, for many years, just so the law could be respected, and so that people's sense of righteous indignation could be appeased. Does that seem right to anyone?
I'm with Jennifer on this one: why is it right for the State to dictate terms in cases like this? I might accept the State's role in the absence of parental involvement. But if the parents don't want to press charges, the minor doesn't want to press charges, and the couple is now married, what interest does the State have in LeTourneau-izing the adult?
Promoting the sexual purity of kids is only one job of their parents. Decisions about shelter, clothing, proper nutrition, healthcare, and many others are the prerogatives of parents. If the State has proper authority to overrule parents in cases of sexual relations, I don't see anything preventing parents from being secondary to the State in all matters of child-rearing. Instead of the State functioning "in loco parentis," parents all too often seem to be treated as nothing more than conveniently commissioned agents of the state, whose child-rearing privileges can be revoked or curtailed at State discretion.
If the kid feels as if she were raped -- or even if only the parents do -- then fine. The State justice system can do its duty. But messing with people's lives and their private arrangements just to ensure that "the law is respected" is a red flag that the law is, at least in some cases, not respectable, and in need of adjustment.
thoreau | July 27, 2005, 1:23pm | #
OK, there's a number of questions here. First the easy ones (which admittedly have little to do with law and policy):
1) Is the guy a creep? Almost certainly yes.
2) Did the girl make a bad decision? Yes.
3) Is the girl immature? Duh.
4) Does this couple have any hope of long-term happiness together? Almost certainly no.
Now, those issues aren't really enough to merit bringing the law in. So some more questions:
1) Should the guy go to jail? This is the hard one. Until I know more I'll err on the side of saying no, simply because there should be a high burden of proof before somebody goes to jail.
2) How meaningful was her consent to
marry?
This is an important one. Even if he doesn't go to jail, one might argue that she really had no business consenting to marry a creep if she was pressured by her parents and scared by her pregnancy. I'd like to know more about the parents and the scenario.
Are they uber-religious folks who told her she'd go to hell if she doesn't marry the first guy she has sex with?
Did they lay down the "Well, we're certainly not paying for this baby, so go marry the guy!" line?
Are they neglectful and self-absorbed people who will sign off on any bad decision that their daughter makes under desperate circumstances?
There may very well be grounds to annull this marriage. The sex act is done and no public official can change that. But the marriage is an ongoing committment, it's almost guaranteed to come to a bad end, it's legally recognized, and when it ends it will be messy. Depending on the circumstances, one could make a good case that the state should take pity on her and annull it as painlessly as possible.
ChicagoTom | July 27, 2005, 3:19pm | #
Joe said :
"The point is, children lack the defenses necessary to stand up the persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as (often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they should resist persuasion."
Some children do lack the defenses necessary, some don't. Your blanket statments about what children lack just emphasize what other posters have been saying, you are speaking in very absolute terms.
Yes children need to be protected, but the degree of protection you are demanding, in my opinion, is over the top. And just because children need to be protected is an agreed upon sentiment, that doesn't mean that all children need to be protected in the same way. Teenagers don't need the same protection as 8 year olds, and teenagers have a much better ability to defend themselves than an 8 or 9 year old does.
In this particular case, there is nothing so far that has shown anyone needing to be protected.
I have had quite a few dealings with human beings in the real world (thanks for asking). And in the real world, it isnt black and white like you are trying to make it. Just because the girl was 13 or the man was 21 doesnt mean anyone was exploited/coerced/or taken advantage of. No matter how bad you want it to be that way. Many female relatives of mine (aunts, grandparents) were minors when they met their husbands who in many cases were quite a bit older (10 years or so), and there wasn't expoitation involved.
My point is, I believe that an the age difference in and of itself should not be enough to make someone say "well obviously the older is exploiting the younger". It isn't at all obvious that exploitation has happened. If the girl comes out and says that she didn't want to marry him, or doesn't love him or something like that, then obviously something should be done, but barring that, the government should get out of the way.
joe | July 27, 2005, 3:35pm | #
"children lack the defenses necessary to stand up the persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as (often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they should resist persuasion."
"A 13 year old girl cannot give meaningful consent to sex, and is extremely vulnerable to being manipulated by an adult man."
"...the conflicts of interest here, the vulnerable position of the kid, and broad social good that having something besides the conscience of the predator to protect the prey..."
"If I trade a six year old five shiny pennies for his $20 bill, I'm a dirty thief."
"Because children lack the maturity and wisdom to give meaningful consent."
"...an adult - with his car, his income, his greater experience at playing the scoring game, and his assumed authority - has power over a child..."
"...a 14 year old can more easily be coerced and manipulated by an older, savvier adult than by another 14 year old. There's a "pick on someone your own size" dynamic here."
"The point is, children lack the defenses necessary to stand up the persuasions that can be offered by a savvy adult, as well as (often) the capacity for forethought necessary to realize why they should resist persuasion."
So, as you can see, all I've really been able to offer to the argument is that it's, like, all icky and stuff.
greg | July 27, 2005, 4:19pm | #
(I posted this at 2:50, did not show but it still seams applicable)
I think most people on this list are having a serious issue, confusing the morality question with the legal question. Just because it may be immoral or moral for a 21 year old to have sex with a 13 year old has little bearing on whether the state should make it automatically illegal.
As for the moral issue, most discussion on this is just back and forth hypothecial. "13 year olds" are not a class of people to be treated whole. It is just a classification to refer to people that share the same age. But each 13 year old is an individual so the morality question differs in each instance of sex and for each 13 year old. No one can judge the morality of this situation as no one can trully know if her consent was "meaningful."
This is separate from the leagl issue of whether statustory rape should be a law or not. Rape (the non-consent regular kind) already makes it illegal for sex with a non-consetning (lack of meaningful consent) person. Thus, there is no reason for a stat rape law.
If a prosecutor feels that a particualr instance of sex is non-consetning then he should make that case. The age should not be defining factor but may be used as evidence. This will allow each case to be treated on its merits with each victim and alleged perp being treated like individuals. I mean we are libertarians and all.
To allay fears of rampant sex with minors, prosecutors can simply issue "guidelines" that all sex with those under 14 will be investigated for the potential that the consent was not meaningful with the bounds of the law.
But removing the burden of proving lack of consent is simply removing the humanity from the situation and treating all individuals as members of a class which is dehumanizing.
The main purpose of rape law is defending the rights of a "raped" victim. For that reason alone, the issue of meaningful consent being given should always be at issue in a rape trial.
Stat rape laws, acknowledge that it is impossible to determine the exact age when it is possible to give menaingful consent so they simply treat the subjects (13 year olds) as cows rather than individual humans some of whom can make such meaningful decisions and others that can not. Current standard rape laws are sufficient to handle these issues, but stat rapes help "pro-victim" politians win votes.
Born Again Iconoclast | July 27, 2005, 4:45pm | #
"If you're caught getting it on with a 13 year old girl when you're 22, the presumption is that you're a piece of crap taking advantage of a little girl."
I'd say so, and I agree in this case with the Nebraska AG, but sometimes cultural circumstances may come into play. Did this girl share with her parents their obvious belief that it was dishonorable to be unmarried and pregnant, and consent to willingly cross state lines for the marriage?
MARRIAGE UNFAMILIAR,
MARRIAGE QUITE PECULIAR,
JAILBAIT CROSSIN' STATE LINES --
COMITY TONIGHT!
Well, this guy should have went past Kansas and kept straight for Saudi Arabia. Muslims get upset when you point out the fact that their prophet married a girl when she was 9, and started screwing her when she was 11 (ewww, wot a creep!!), but in some parts of the uncivilized world this is not an uncommon practice. And of course, we're all familiar with those arranged marriages in India and other places where children as young as six years old (!!!) are hooked up by their families (double yuck!!!!)
This situation reminds me of a legal class I took a couple of months back. The attorney who taught the class had a case involving a young couple from Mexico that was living here in the states. He was about 19, she was 14, and apparently where they came from in Mexico it was not uncommon for young couples of this age to be married.
They moved here to the US, got into a fight, the young man unfortunately and stupidly took a swing at his wife. The cops got involved, and the young man was brought in for domestic violence. When they found out that his wife was "under age" (even though they were legally married in their country and had birthed a child), the young man was to be charged with pedophilia and a whole bunch of charges.
The attorney basically saved the family and got the young man off by calling immigration in on his own clients in order for them to be deported, since the Feds'jurisdiction superceded the state's.
Also, do the bloggers here that support polygamy also support polyandry? If you support the former and not the latter, why not?
thoreau | July 27, 2005, 5:08pm | #
Why? And don't give me Big Guy in the sky told me so answers.
Hakluyt-
Don't worry, I won't be giving you any religious answers.
And I should preface all of this by saying that I am not suggesting my opinions on sex should be enforced by law. I'm just saying that some things are a bad idea, and in a free society one can say that something is a bad idea.
In a nutshell, sexual experimentation involves 3 risks. Adults face the same risks, but they are better equipped to handle them.
1) Pregnancy (if not done properly)
2) Disease (if not done properly)
3) Emotional
Don't worry, I'll get to the most controversial reason in a second. But on the first two reasons, I don't have a lot of confidence in 13 year-olds to exercise good judgement and use precautions properly. This girl obviously didn't. (One might speculate on whether she would have been more assertive about birth control if the guy had been younger and she had been in a stronger position in the relationship, but that's admittedly speculation.)
OK, about emotional repercussions: Most people get their heart ripped out and handed to them when they start dating. It's inevitable. It's part of life. We learn from it, and we get used to it. But all of these things get even more complicated when there's sex involved (and even more complicated still if somebody gets a disease and/or pregnancy). There's nothing wrong with sex between consenting and mature people, and even adults get hurt in relationships, but I subscribe to the novel view that it's better to not rush in and try to experience everything that adults experience when you're only 13. It's better to get some emotional maturity and experience in life. How much? I dunno. More than a 13 year-old has. And I realize that's an ambiguous statement, but I'm not calling for a law. "I known it when I see it!" may not be a good basis for law, but it's a damn good basis for living and giving advice.
Do I want to legislate this? Hell no! Do I want to scare kids into thinking that sex will scar them for life? Hell no!
But I will urge my kids to get a little more emotional maturity, and a little more experience under their belts, before they add that element to their relationships. Is that really so strange of a notion, that sex is better if everybody involved has a little emotional maturity? That relationships are complicated enough when kissing is the most that's at stake? That maybe they'll be happier if they move gradually with these explorations rather than jumping in head first at the age of 13?
Finally, I want to say this loud and clear: If I have a 13 year-old daughter and she gets pregnant, she WILL NOT get married and keep the baby! I don't care if we have to get on a plane and go to some other state or foreign country where the adoption laws are different, but no 13 year-old daughter of mine will be keeping a baby!
Douglas Wright | July 29, 2005, 1:42am | #
1. There is not enough information to rationally have a strong opinion. So we can see some of the issues, but this is a very very relative belief issue. If you think otherwise, you are not well read in history.
2. There justifiable concerns to question of sending her now husband to jail. What is best for the young women and her possible future child?
3. I am also aware this man could well be very bad, controlling, abusive guy, immature, compulsive, low IQ or worse. I can not know that from anything I have read. There are several clear issues here; that he was outside social norms for America in 2005.
4. I agree, what is the young women like? Let a judge and psychologist really look into the situation. Then they can play King Solomon. Someone has to now.
5. It is equally possible that the female was trhe initiator of the initial relationship. Some women are mature and aggressively going at life even at that early an age. Presuming her to be some frail innocent is just not the only possible profile. I get some of you want to see women that way, but they are found in many, many styles and personalities. Some want a man, because all kinds of cultural structure is there telling her she should. Some want access to the power and freedom they see an adult life gives, and are willing to take on responsibility. Others are looking to escape and use the guy to there own ends. And a million other possibilities. Many that do not require her to be presumed used by the man. That is so radical feminist.
6. There are liberty issues here. Ther State vs The individuals personal life. Good grief, the Kansas law represents very common beliefs of 100 years ago when most states allowed young marriage.
7. Remember, in old world Jewish law you were and adult at 13, you could take a wife, start a business, own a home, be a father or mother. Most of the modern delaying of adult life came from unions trying to keep out young competition. In those days 2/3 would be dead by age 30-35. They were not anywhere near as well educated or informed. (Yes, I am against working 6 year olds in factories. But real work apprenticeships for 10 year olds helped them to understand life as a responsible person who contributed to family and community. Now we have gangs where kids try to find it themselves without elders.)
8. It is very strange that the state should say your body is mature, but we won' t let you use it. Granted, it entails huge responsibility, and we no longer as a culture raise our kids with an expectation that they will get the keys to the car and their life at age 13. But I am certain that if we did, they could. Because the human species has several thousand years experience doing exactly that.
9. I will leave some things to God to sort out, and this is one of them.
I do not need to have an opinion based on incomplete information.
Peace be with all of you, and I prey that some mature, wise judge will sort this out, guided by divine Wisdom. I leave it in His hands.
This does not mean I do not care. It means that I believe our system of law can find the best outcome for all, the man, woman and the possible future child.